Opinion

Band 5+: Some people believe that it is important for parents to read or tell stories to their children. Others say that in the modern world, parents don't have to do this because children have so many other sources for stories, like books, movies and TV.

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about weather parents should tell stories to their children, while the opponents of this statement believe that is unnecessary because in modern times there are many others sources, such as books, tv, and movies. From my point of view, even thought children can watch a wide range variety of content and not distract parents, I believe that parents should read stories to their children because that can improve their communication skills and aggressive behavior.

On the one hand, in modern society parents tend to provide access to online media content for their children. In online open sources young individuals can find any content for entertainment such as video games, tv and films. Moreover, this allow might parents to perform better in job, while their children can watch stories on devices. For example, parents can work in remote-control job, and allow children watching online content in order to work without distractions. As a result, others sources of stories can provide access to a lot of content to children, respectively, their parents can work. However, that can lead to negative aspects, like lack of parents communication and may negatively influence on behavior.

On the other hand, overusing of media content by children can lead to negative developments. Firstly, when parents reading a books to their children that can make children feel necessary and parents can often communicate with their kids. Therefore, kids can develop their communication skills while talking with parents about stories, and may make easier to attract with peers. Secondly, the often using of online sources can cause aggressive behavior, due to using online sources on daily routine may lead to addiction to devises. For example, young individuals can overuse mobile gadgets and became uncontrolled for parents.

To conclude, although other sources can provide access to children of wide range of content, I believe that that can negative influence on social skills due to lack of communication with parents and aggressive behavior.

Word Count: 328

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

parents: 12

children: 11

their: 9

content: 7

sources: 6

stories: 5

online: 5

communication: 4

while: 3

believe: 3

skills: 3

aggressive: 3

provide: 3

access: 3

negative: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position in favor of parents telling stories. The main ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of other sources but does not fully explore the counterargument, and the second body paragraph could be more focused and better supported. There are also some lapses in clarity and coherence, with awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that affect the overall flow. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop ideas with more specific examples and explanations, and work on sentence structure and vocabulary accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing (e.g., 'that can improve their communication skills and aggressive behavior' is ambiguous). The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some transitions are abrupt. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'children', 'parents', 'sources'). There are also errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'weather' instead of 'whether', 'others sources' instead of 'other sources', 'wide range variety' instead of 'wide variety'). To improve, expand your vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions. Also, pay attention to correct word forms and collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('this allow might parents'), incorrect verb forms ('can make children feel necessary'), and issues with articles and prepositions. To improve, focus on sentence structure and proofread for common errors. Using a wider range of grammatical structures with greater accuracy will enhance the overall quality.

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Band 5+: Some people believe that it is important for parents to read or tell stories to their children. Others say that in the modern world, parents don't have to do this because children have so many other sources for stories, like books, movies and TV.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people believe that it is important for parents to read or tell stories to their children. Others say that in the modern world, parents don’t have to do this because children have so many other sources for stories, like books, movies and TV.

Some people believe that it is important for parents to read or tell stories to their children. Others say that in the modern world, parents don’t have to do this because children have so many other sources for stories, like books, movies and TV.

Other Topics:

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that learning foreign languages is no longer necessary because translation apps and technology are becoming more advanced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that we should reduce weekdays and add more weekends. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that within the next hundred years, life will become better for the majority of people. Others are less sure. What is your opinion about this?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many women are choosing to have children later in life. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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