Opinion

Band 5+: Some people believe that life hundred years ago was better than today. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued by some people that past life was better than modern life. Although some people might agree with this statement, I completely disagree. Not only because of people have access to a better education and communication, but also because of advances in the health sector.

There are multiple benefits associated with today’s life. Firstly, education systems are very good. As there are many ways to get a education and people get knowledge easily through education center and physical and online through internet. Take an example of Japan, a report was published by the education minister in 2018, in which he declared that more people get a better education nowadays than in the past. Thus, education is better these days.

Secondly, communication is much better now. As we can communicate with each other through the mobile phones and internet any time no matter how he far away from you. For instance, Elon Musk, the richest man in the world recently said that communication has become easier in recent decay and new technologies are also developed to improve the communication and make it more reliable. Hence, communication becomes better these days due to technology.

Finally, medical facilities are better now. As recent discoveries made medical more advanced and almost treatment of every disease is possible now that was not in the past.

To sum up, I believe that today’s life is better than the past. Not only because of advances in education and communication, but also because of better medical facilities.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

better: 9

education: 8

communication: 6

people: 5

because: 4

through: 3

medical: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position (disagreeing that life was better 100 years ago) and provides relevant supporting ideas such as education, communication, and medical facilities. The structure is logical with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and detailed. For example, the paragraph on medical facilities is underdeveloped and lacks specific examples or explanation. Additionally, some language errors (e.g., 'a education', 'recent decay' instead of 'recent decade') and informal phrasing slightly reduce clarity. To improve, ensure each main idea is fully extended with specific examples or evidence, and proofread for grammatical accuracy and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow within paragraphs is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the second paragraph jumps from 'education systems are very good' to 'many ways to get a education' without a smooth transition. The use of cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' is helpful, but they are not always followed by well-developed supporting points. To improve, focus on linking sentences more smoothly within paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by specific examples and explanations.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'education systems', 'communication', and 'medical facilities'. However, there are several instances of imprecise or unnatural word choices, such as 'get a education' (should be 'get an education'), 'physical and online through internet' (awkward phrasing), and 'recent decay' (likely meant 'recent decade'). The vocabulary is generally adequate but lacks sophistication and flexibility. To improve, work on using more precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translations or awkward phrases. Reading more academic texts can help expand your lexical range. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include: 'people have access' (should be 'people have access' - correct, but 'because of people have access' is ungrammatical; should be 'because people have access'), 'get a education' (should be 'get an education'), 'no matter how he far away from you' (should be 'no matter how far away they are from you'), and 'medical more advanced' (should be 'medicine more advanced' or 'medical care more advanced'). There is also inconsistent use of articles and prepositions. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Practice writing simpler, clearer sentences to reduce errors.

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