Opinion

Band 7+: Some people believe that online shopping will replace traditional shops, while others think physical stores will always be necessary.

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People are often divided into two groups: the first group contends that online shopping will be more popular than customary shops, while the second group believes that physical stores will always maintain their availability. In my opinion, online shopping creates a chance for saving time, while traditional shops provide precise trading for individuals. In this essay, I will elaborate on both sides and give my viewpoint.

On the one hand, it is readily apparent that the internet provides an environment for people purchasing products without leaving home and putting in extra effort. Moreover, customers can be aware of sales, new goods, and special offers daily, so they don’t need to visit stores every day. For example, today many buyers try to do their business from Trendyol or Temu, two large shopping companies that work online. As a result of this, individuals can prevent losing time and choose an ideal item conveniently.

On the other hand, some consumers want to try merchandise on-site and determine whether they are suitable for them or not. As we know, people often face some problems, such as discrepancies in sizes and appearance when they do online shopping. That is why conventional stores offer to see all physical conditions of products in real life for purchasers and help them to identify the appropriate one. In conclusion, it will be challenging to accustom online shopping fully, because customers always tend to know how the item will fit to the spatial area.

All things considered, buyers can trade online by using their energy efficiently, whereas physical stores play a pivotal role in the identification of goods appropriately. To my mind, online shopping will be important in the future, but it will not be able to replace traditional shops.

Word Count: 290

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 7

shopping: 6

stores: 4

people: 3

shops: 3

physical: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential drawbacks of each shopping method.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'moreover,' 'for example,' and 'in conclusion' helps to connect the sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where the transitions could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be improved to better link the contrasting viewpoints.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate word choices used to convey the writer's ideas. Terms like 'customary shops,' 'precise trading,' 'discrepancies,' and 'pivotal role' are effectively used. However, there are opportunities to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the essay further. For instance, instead of 'putting in extra effort,' consider using a more nuanced phrase like 'exerting additional effort' or 'investing significant time.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. There are only a few minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. For example, in the sentence 'That is why conventional stores offer to see all physical conditions of products in real life for purchasers and help them to identify the appropriate one,' consider rephrasing for clarity and grammatical precision.

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