Opinion

Band 6+: Some people believe that schools should focus more on teaching practical skills, while others argue that academic knowledge is more important.

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People’s opinions about schooling have became different, since some of them think that only academic subjects will be useful for students, and others believe that practical skills may help them in their daily life. I agree that academic subjects are integral part of education, but I support people, who think that practical skills should be taught at school.

In my point of view, academic subjects have to be taught to develop students thinking abilities and expand their worldview. It’s significant for children to know basic academic knowledge, such as maths, geography and history. Moreover, academic subjects are the main aspect of applying to university. After graduating, students need to show their academic skills to go to their dream university and succeed.

On the other hand, there are many different skills required to survive in adult life. As soon as students grow up, they face the real life, where they are responsible for their lives. So practical subjects are needed to show young people what they have to do and how they can deal with problems. Not everyone is taught how to cook or how to plan their budget. That’s why i think that practical subjects are great decisions to prepare students for adult life.

In conclusion, I want to say that both academic and practical subjects are essential in different aspects of life. Schools should balance the academic education and practice for the best.

Word Count: 234

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

academic: 8

subjects: 7

their: 6

students: 5

practical: 5

skills: 4

different: 3

think: 3

taught: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the benefits of both academic and practical skills. Also, ensure a balanced discussion of both viewpoints throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, with a discernible structure including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For instance, in the second paragraph, elaborating on the connection between academic subjects and university applications could strengthen the argument. In the third paragraph, providing specific examples of 'real-life' situations would make the argument more compelling.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, but there's room for improvement in terms of sophistication and precision. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, some word choices are somewhat basic (e.g., 'great decisions'). Try to incorporate more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision and impact. For example, instead of 'thinking abilities,' consider using 'cognitive skills' or 'analytical capabilities.' Also, explore synonyms for frequently used words like 'important' or 'useful' to add variety to your writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. While the overall meaning is usually clear, addressing these errors would improve the essay's overall quality. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'People's opinions about schooling have became different' should be 'People's opinions about schooling have become different.' Also, ensure correct preposition usage and sentence structure to enhance grammatical accuracy.

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