Opinion

Band 4+: Some people believe that the widespread use of technology, such as smartphones and social media, has caused more harm than good to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that gadgets and social media have more harmful aspects than useful ones. However, I disagree with view for two main reasons.

On the one hand, nowadays electronic devices and social media make peoples life easier. There are various options to learn or find new information in social media. For example, you tube, educational apps and cites, from you tube it is easy to watch some educational or even beneficial videos in their interest. Moreover, learners use articles, cites and ibooks rather than go library and search every book for their project or presentation. For this reason, even children started to study with interest, passion and any difficulties.

On the second hand, social networking platforms allow individuals to be in touch with parents and friends. Also some job interviews hold on online with video chat. One of the biggest advantage of communicate for those who live in abroad. Students who study in abroad usually feel homesick or get mental health issues yet the online communication can easily manage with these problems, make their life easier and encourage them after online video chatting. Therefore, electronic devices can help in every type of situations in our life.

In conclusion, since smartphones and social media improve learning and global communication, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

media: 4

their: 3

online: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential drawbacks of smartphones and social media to demonstrate a more balanced perspective. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas could be clearer. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the connection between the arguments and the overall stance could be strengthened. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your reasoning. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('cites' instead of 'sites'). To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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