Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The number of flights has increased in recent years

or to interrupt flying completely. I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

Reducing the number of flights would lead to a drop in pollution and carbon footprint. In fact, the fewer the number of flights, the less pollution, for example, air and noise pollution. Furthermore, such a policy can cause commercial advantage. To be exact, reducing the number of trips can lead to a decrease in the price of tickets.

Some, on the other hand, believe that such an issue would lead to business problems. For example, the tourist industry is of great significance. Infact, when the number of tourists decreases, it would lead to serious damage to the economy. If travellers cut back on flying, profits for airlines, hotels, and local services may decline. However, there are many transportations systems like train, bus and ferry. For instance, traveling by train would be the most efficient and eco-friendly plane alternative. Moreover, they are many scientists, students and researchers that travel by aircraft, if people decrease the number of flights, they will not implement their research but they can use the internet and classes.

In conclusion, restricting air travel would not have any effect on the environment, and the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in the case of travelling and economic growth.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 6

would: 5

flights: 4

pollution: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your claims. Ensure a clearer focus and precision in supporting your ideas to strengthen your argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions are present but sometimes feel abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly and ensure a clearer flow of thought. For example, clarify the relationship between the reduction of flights and the decrease in ticket prices.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit generic. Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. For instance, instead of 'serious damage to the economy,' you could use more descriptive terms like 'significant economic downturn' or 'substantial revenue losses.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. For example, review the sentence 'In fact, the fewer the number of flights, the less pollution' for grammatical accuracy. Also, ensure correct punctuation throughout the essay.

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