Opinion

Band 4+: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems

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Some individuals claim that the biggest environmental problem in our world is a small amount of particular species of plants and animals while others believe that nowadays we have more crucial problems.

In my opinion small quantity in species of plants and animals is very big issue but our world must cope with more important problems such as climate change or global warming. First of all global warming is a real trouble for flora and fauna. Many species of animals in Antarctica suffer from ice melting. For instance polar bears and penguins lose their habitat due to this many species pass away.

Secondly climate change is also dangerous problem. Because of this the temperature on the planet rises and frequent droughts and floods occur. In addition the droughts are often occurred particularly in Kazakhstan. People will have a lack of crops unless there are droughts. Then it can lead to a shortage of food.

In conclusion, the loss of particular species of plants and animals is a big problem but not as important as global warming or climate change.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

species: 5

animals: 4

problem: 3

plants: 3

climate: 3

change: 3

global: 3

warming: 3

droughts: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented, while relevant, lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences of each environmental problem. Also, ensure a clearer connection between the loss of species and other environmental issues. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position but the organization could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat basic. The essay would benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow and logical progression of arguments. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There is a need to use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'big problem,' try using synonyms like 'significant issue,' 'major concern,' or 'critical challenge.' Also, focus on using more specific and technical vocabulary related to environmental issues. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'small quantity in species' should be rephrased for better grammatical accuracy. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring that each sentence is grammatically correct. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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