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Band 4+: Some people think that robots are very important to human's future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people believe that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think that they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. This essay discuss both views and why discuss both side and I learn toward the former view.

There are two reasons why robots are very important to human. On the one hand, the first reason is that robots can help human housework and dangerous jobs. For example, it support daily life such as robot vacuuming, robot mopping help people save time housework and some robot can support learn and entertainment. The second reason is that robot can work continuously help human complete work faster. In addition, robots make fewer mistakes when performing tasks and high accuracy .

There are two reasons why robots are dangerous and negative effects on society. On the other hand , The first reason is that human are too dependent on robots. For example, if human are too dependent on robots work and solve the problem skills may be reduced. Furthermore, if robots damaged can cause accidents. Another appealing justification is that, some robot have camera or sensor can data income personally of human cause loss of privacy. The second reason is that robots can cause many people to lose their jobs.

In conclusion, while there are many drawback regarding robot are dangerous and negative effects on society, I still believe that it is beneficial because it help support human work.

Word Count: 240

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

robots: 9

human: 7

robot: 6

dangerous: 4

reason: 4

people: 3

negative: 3

effects: 3

society: 3

support: 3

cause: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the benefits and the risks of robots, and a personal opinion is provided. However, the development of these ideas is limited. While relevant points are mentioned (e.g., housework, job loss, privacy), they are often presented as simple lists rather than being fully extended or explained with depth. The position is clear, but the progression of arguments could be more cohesive. To improve, focus on the following: - **Idea Development:** Instead of just listing examples, explain *how* or *why* these points lead to the conclusion. For instance, when mentioning job loss, explain the social impact of mass unemployment. - **Cohesion and Structure:** Use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas within paragraphs. Avoid repetitive structures like 'The first reason is... The second reason is...' - **Grammatical Accuracy:** Work on subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it support' should be 'it supports') and sentence structure to ensure that ideas flow logically and clearly. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for both sides, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' is attempted, but they are not used correctly in context (usually, these are used to contrast two points within a discussion, whereas here they are used to start paragraphs). To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive (e.g., repeating 'important', 'reason', and 'human' frequently). There are several instances where word choices are inaccurate or unidiomatic, such as 'data income personally' instead of 'collect personal data' or 'learn toward' instead of 'lean toward'. To improve, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition and study collocations (words that naturally go together) to ensure your phrasing sounds more natural to a native speaker. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This essay discuss', 'it support'), improper sentence structures, and issues with pluralization. Some sentences are fragmented or lack a clear predicate. For example, 'In addition, robots make fewer mistakes when performing tasks and high accuracy' is grammatically incomplete. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring that every sentence has a subject and a verb, and practicing the correct use of singular and plural nouns.

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