Opinion

Band 4+: Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays a followers of extreme sports like sky diving and rock climbing have extremely raised.Many people say that this type of sport should be banned,but I disagree with this view.In this essay I will discuss several key reasons as why I absolutely dislike with the proposed.

It’s obvious that high risk sports can lead to serious injures ,but many people like get adrenaline and intense physical activities.Every adult people knows that extremely sport dangerous and may have negative consequences.For example any of this sports may suffer serious injures or even death if proper precautions are not taken.Thats why prohibited extremely sport.

Nevertheless this type of sport has many advantage .Extremely sports can help people build self confidence.Furthermore extreme can release negative energy and fight depression .

Extreme sports often require teamwork or guidance,which helps participants build social connections and meet people with similar interests.This can lead to networking opportunities and even partnerships in business or other ventures .

In conclusion,although extreme sports carry some risks,their benefits in developing personal qualities,physical health,mental well being,and professional skills outweigh the dangers.Therefore,I believe these sports should not be banned

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 7

people: 5

extremely: 4

extreme: 3

sport: 3

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Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be developed further. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the benefits of extreme sports. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and sufficient development. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence, focus on using clear topic sentences, providing supporting evidence and examples, and using transition words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The language is not always precise, and there is a lack of sophistication in the vocabulary used. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to the topic and using a wider range of synonyms and idiomatic expressions. Pay attention to the correct usage of words and avoid using words that are not appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. The range of grammatical structures used is limited, and there is a lack of control over complex sentence structures. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to common errors and proofread carefully to identify and correct mistakes.

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