Opinion

Band 4+: The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » Write at least 150 words.

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The data illustrates the percentage of British people who engage in charitable activities, by age, in a period ranging between 20 years. There is a significant decline for three age groups namely, 18-25, 26-35 and 36-50. Whereas, the remaining age groups of 51-65 and >65 depicted a gradual rise.

The generous donation of people between 51-65 and >65 increased by almost 5% for the former and around 4% for the latter. I can witness a noticeable dip in the percentage of the young age group of 18-25 which is by 10%. For people between the age group of 26-35 and 36-50 the drop in percentage was 5% and 6%.

The conclusion according to the bar graph given shows people with more age donate more than the younger age group. In the last two decades, there has been a slow increase in the charitable amount for the higher age groups while a sharp fall for the younger age groups.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

groups: 4

percentage: 3

between: 3

group: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons between the age groups and the years 1990 and 2010. The position is clear, but it could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and analysis. The essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the reasons behind the trends observed in the data.
The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally easy to follow, with a clear progression of ideas. However, there are some minor issues with cohesion, such as the abrupt transition between the second and third paragraphs. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more varied linking devices to improve overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally accurate and appropriate for the task. There is evidence of a good range of vocabulary, although some repetition of words and phrases could be avoided. Consider using more sophisticated and varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a wide range of structures with generally good control. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice that affect the overall accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of prepositions for improved grammatical accuracy.

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