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Opinion

Band 4+: The charts below show information about water consumption in Australia in 2004 and how residential water was consumed in the same year.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The given charts illustrate the percentage of water expenditure in Australia and how it was used by consumers in the year 2004.

Overall, the pie chart demonstrates the residential sector accounted for the vast majority of water usage in Australia, while the bar chart depicts the most common uses such as bathroom and garden.

In 2004, residential water usage accounted for 57 percent of the total water consumption, with the remaining percentages allocated to other sectors. Specifically, 13 percent of the water was used for flats, 11 percent for industry, 10 percent for business, 6 percent for the government and a smaller proportion for other activities.

The water was consumed by people for household needs and the most popular was bathroom and garden. Bath reached its peak at approximately 30% the same as the garden. Additionally, washing clothes accounted for 20% and the restroom with the kitchen showed the least percentage of use.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 6

percent: 5

accounted: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay partially addresses the task by providing an overview of the charts and some specific details. However, it lacks a clear viewpoint or opinion on the information presented. More explanations and examples could be used to support the ideas. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. It logically organizes information and ideas, and each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the charts. Some more cohesive devices could be used to better connect the ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses formal language and accurate vocabulary related to water consumption. However, it could benefit from using some less common vocabulary and avoiding repetition by using synonyms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates mostly correct grammar and punctuation. It also uses some complex sentence structures, but there are a few errors that need to be addressed.

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