Opinion

Band 5+: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old-fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

There is an ongoing debate regarding whether having a single career or having different jobs or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. While many people think that one career is becoming an old fashion one, I believe that focusing in one job is significant way to achieve a success .

To begin with, Most of people think that several careers are the best way to success and earn more money. This is because every job has its salary. Moreover, they believe that employers can have work in the morning and after ending that they can start another job or online working as real estate. For instance, there are many individuals who have their own business in addition to their work in companies. As a result they can achieve a high incomes.

On the other hand, a lot of people believe that a single career can be the most suitable way to have a high salaries. This can be illustrated by the fact that focusing on one job and improving their performance can achieve the best results and success. Additionally, income will be increased.For example, If all employers face the challenges and do not give up, all citizens’ salaries will rise. As a result, the society will develop.

To conclude, there are various ways to earn many and grow the income. While many people believe that the new fashion mil be have several careers and continue education, I disagree with a single career is becoming an old fashion.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

career: 4

people: 4

believe: 4

there: 3

single: 3

fashion: 3

achieve: 3

success: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt but lacks clarity and development. The position is stated but not consistently maintained. Ideas are limited and not sufficiently supported with relevant examples. There are issues with coherence and paragraph structure. To improve, ensure a clear thesis statement, develop each point with specific examples, and maintain a logical flow. Avoid repetition and vague statements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion does not fully summarize the main points and introduces a new idea. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'in contrast') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'many people think', 'believe'). There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'old fashion one' (should be 'old-fashioned'), 'significant way to achieve a success' (should be 'a significant way to achieve success'), and 'high incomes' (should be 'high income'). To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms. Avoid informal phrases like 'mil be' (likely a typo for 'will be'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures. Examples include: 'focusing in one job' (should be 'focusing on one job'), 'Most of people' (should be 'Most people'), 'If all employers face the challenges' (should be 'If all employees face challenges'), and 'I disagree with a single career is becoming an old fashion' (should be 'I disagree that a single career is becoming old-fashioned'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures and proofread for common errors.

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