Discussion

Band 5+: The rise of social media has allowed individuals to connect globally, but some argue that it also promotes superficial relationships and reduces real-world interactions. Others believe that social media fosters community and provides valuable networking opportunities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are a lot of people believe that the rising of users in social media, did a major issue to face-to-face communication and it made the real socialising so hard while, others think get in touch with people wherever they are has become easier. In my point of view, I agree with the second group, because internet made socialising easy to find under any circumstances.

On the first hand, for many individuals talking with friends nowadays is diffiuclt due to the tranceforming to web platforms. For example, psychological scientist from the UK, say that chating in real life is necessary for our kind since we the beginning of our life. In addition, he believe that the day we stop talk in real life, is the day when hummanity collapse.

On the other hand, you can email or send an online message to keep in toch with your family or your friends even if you live in another country. As result, 50% of people today have more than one friend which was unbelievable years ago. In 2019, a communictaion doctor from Canada, said that recent improvement in internet made people active and appetite to speak in any time and that is crucial for our mental health, also it can heal ageing in the brain.

In conclusion, while real talk is essential for us and it is major case for our existence, internet platforms are more useful and it provides us help to keep in touch without drawback or handicap in life.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

internet: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and presenting a clear position. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The supporting examples are somewhat vague and could be strengthened with more specific details. To improve, focus on providing more concrete evidence and clearer explanations to support your points. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat discernible, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance coherence. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and more explicit connections between ideas within each paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is a noticeable repetition of simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary that is more specific and nuanced. Focus on learning synonyms and using them appropriately to express your ideas more effectively. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review and correct errors in past writing to reinforce learning.

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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