Multi Part

Band 4+: Too many young people and too many old people do not exercise enough. What is causing this? What can be done to change this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Regular exercise can maintain healthy and happy life. However majority of young and old people do not prefer exercise in daily basis. There are server reasons why they do not exercise daily. But this seastuion can be tackle by taking some steps

In recent days, young and old people do not prefer exercise because one of possible reason is most of young people are leaving in hectic life style because they working in competitive environment if they they were avoid competition then they might be losing their job and become unemployed so, they prefer to spend their leisure time on learning new skill after doing those things they get exhausted and they find very little amount of time and energy to spend on exercise as a result they spend rest of time on resting. And other possible reason is too many old people are suffering from physical health problem like knee-pain and back-pain because of at that age bone and musels are not enough stronger then young people if they were try to do physical activity then they found new physical health problem so, they avoid those type of activity.

There are ,however , possible ways to tackle these problem by organisation or compony should arranging weekly sport tournament in compony or organisation level so it will engage young people to physical activity or arrange some physical fun active in office hours. It would help to manage employees physical health as well as provide brain refreshment and become employees more productive so, those activity also beneficial for organisation or compony. Other possible solution is for people who suffering from physical health issues they would prefer light exercise, yoga and starching under trainer’s instructions hence, comparatively low chance to face other physical health problem and some type of physical health problem can be cure by starching or yoga.

In conclusion, due to hectic life style and physical health problems people do not prefer to engage with physical activity but those problem can be tackle by arranging low level sport tournament like compony level tournament so, anyone can participate without any sports proficiency. And old people do light exercise like yoga and starching under export’s guidance. Also, at some extend it would cure physical health problem.

Word Count: 374

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

physical: 12

people: 9

health: 8

exercise: 7

problem: 7

young: 5

prefer: 5

possible: 4

those: 4

activity: 4

compony: 4

tackle: 3

because: 3

spend: 3

other: 3

organisation: 3

tournament: 3

level: 3

would: 3

starching: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying causes (hectic lifestyles for the young and physical ailments for the elderly) and proposing solutions (workplace sports and guided light exercise). A position is present throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the clarity of the argument is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on the following: - **Idea Development:** Instead of just stating a reason, try to expand more deeply on the 'why' and 'how'. For example, explain how a sedentary lifestyle at work specifically leads to a lack of exercise. - **Cohesion and Coherence:** Use a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect your ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are quite long and run-on, which makes them difficult to follow. - **Grammar and Accuracy:** Work on sentence structure and subject-verb agreement. There are several instances of spelling errors (e.g., 'seastuion', 'compony', 'musels', 'starching') and grammatical slips that affect the professional tone of the essay. Aim for more precise vocabulary to describe health and lifestyle issues.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often hindered by poor sentence structure. Many sentences are overly long and run-on, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic without re-reading. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In contrast') and ensure that each sentence contains a single, clear idea. Breaking down long, complex sentences into shorter, more manageable ones will significantly improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'seastuion', 'musels', 'compony', 'starching', 'export's' instead of expert's) and imprecise word choices (e.g., 'leaving in hectic life style' instead of 'living a hectic lifestyle'). There is also a repetitive use of certain words like 'problem' and 'physical health'. To improve, focus on learning correct collocations (words that naturally go together) and expanding your vocabulary to include more academic synonyms. Pay close attention to spelling during the revision stage. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence construction. For example, 'they working' should be 'they are working', and 'can be tackle' should be 'can be tackled'. The use of conditional structures (e.g., 'if they they were avoid competition') is incorrect. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence structures, particularly the use of auxiliary verbs, correct verb tenses, and the passive voice. Practicing the use of relative clauses and subordinating conjunctions will also help you build more accurate complex sentences.

Essays On The Same Topic:

See All

people believe that young generation must take responcibilite to developing technology.

The idea that the younger generation must bear the responsibility for developing technology is a compelling and timely argument. Born into a digital world, today’s youth possess an innate fluency with technology that previous generations had to acquire mid-life. Because of this unique position, the younger generation is not just well-suited to drive technological advancement […]

Band 9

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?

In today’s world, artificial intelligence is making significant strides in the automotive industry. This growth is largely fueled by rapid advancements in technology, which I believe is a largely positive development given the benefits it brings to vehicles. On one hand, people have become accustomed to the latest AI technologies. This is largely due to […]

Band 6+

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child's development while others believe that other factors (friends, television, music …) have a stronger effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While some people argue that family has a greater impact on the development of the younger generation, others believe that external influences such as friends, television, or music are the most influential ones. This essay will discuss both perspectives before proposing my own opinion that family still plays a pivotal role in a child’s development. […]

Band 8+

In many countries, there is not enough recycling of materials such as paper, glass, and cans. What are the causes of this problem, and what solutions can you suggest.

In recent years, with the advancement of new technology and urban cities, the environment has been impacted negatively due to the release of toxic gases and wastes, leading to citizens and governments’ concerns about the living environment. However, in some nations, people believe that individuals have not made enough effort to recycle waste materials like […]

Band 6+

Studying at university is a great opportunity for all, and is even more beneficial if the university attended is in a foreign country.

In today’s world, studying at university has become a widely debated issue. While some people believe that continue studying in the university could support the learners to find better jobs in the future. Other’s argue that improving individuals skills might be more useful for them, such as practising of any type of sports. This essay […]

Band 5+

See All