Opinion

Band 6+: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many adults argue the use of a computer from an early age has a lot of disadvantages for them. Adults say it will give more disadvantages for children’s growth, especially when its use is excessive and not under adults’ supervision. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this statement, and ideally children should be kept from using computers since it has innumerable benefits for them in the future.

It is undeniable that the usage of computers from an early age can lead to many advantages in the future. For instance, children who use the internet to satisfy their curiosity at any diversed topics can be independent learners. By starting early in their lives, they are also able to take advantage of a wide range of services that computers provide. They also can always update with the advancement of world of technology. In addition, this expertise is very useful for their job in the future. Different from children who do not use computer since an early age. They will have many difficulties to followingthe evolution of technology, and it will not be good for their future.

Moreover, the use of technological advancements can lead to benefits in social skills for children. Children are always updated on the outside world and gain many opportunities from various resources. However, computer use must remain under adult supervision, especially if children are still underage. Technology consumption has to be limited according to age. To illustrate, Children under 17 years old are not allowed to watch adult films, and parents need to provide support during the usage process. As long as the usage is right, then children can lead to be expertise of technology.

As a result, I firmly believe that the use of computers still has more advantages than disadvantages. It will lead children to innovate and gain creativity in the future.

Word Count: 307

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 9

early: 4

computers: 4

their: 4

computer: 3

disadvantages: 3

under: 3

usage: 3

future: 3

technology: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (disagree with the statement that computers have more negative effects). The main ideas are relevant and supported with some examples. However, there are a few lapses in focus and precision. For instance, the first paragraph contains a contradictory phrase ('I strongly disagree... and ideally children should be kept from using computers'), which may confuse the reader. Additionally, some ideas could be more fully developed, such as the point about social skills, which is only briefly touched upon. To improve, ensure that the position is consistently clear and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and developed supporting details. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references. For example, the phrase 'ideally children should be kept from using computers' contradicts the main argument. Additionally, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to technology and children, such as 'innumerable benefits', 'independent learners', and 'technological advancements'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward expressions, such as 'diversed topics' and 'followingthe evolution'. To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and proofread for spelling and word choice errors. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity, such as 'can lead to many advantages' (should be 'have many advantages'), 'children who use the internet to satisfy their curiosity at any diversed topics' (should be 'on diverse topics'), and 'to followingthe' (should be 'to follow the'). To improve, review subject-verb agreement, article usage, and ensure correct verb forms after prepositions.

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Band 6+: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society?

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