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Band 4+: What have you learned from someone you admire? How have you used it?

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My sister is one of the most important people in my life and i really admire with my sister.Today i would like to tell about my sister.in my opinion she’s very pretty and confident,i see example what a person should be like,i believe that my sister strong personality

Firstly i want to tell just characteristic of my sister,Her name is Ademi and she twenty years old.She succeds in everything,she succeed in study,relax,work,adventures and hobbies.She’s truly confident and kind,sometimes she has a bad mood and we quarrel and argue,despite this,i love her very much.

Secondly i would like to tell what i learned from her.When i have depression and im upset,she always supports and calms me,she always find to the solution from my problems and give me necessary advices.In the past I had a problem with my self-esteem and i always find flaws from myself and critical of myself,but my sister believe me that im truly pretty,that’s why i love her and admire her.She is so positive and compelling personality,she learn to me how to be confident and don’t be shy.i learned from her that be confident and grateful from myself,and accept myself as i am.She helped me from my self-esteem.In the past i was very insecure and self conscious personality but she changed that and made me realize that I am an extraordinary person.

When i had operation from my ears,they was big and strange to me,inexperienced doctor ruined my ears and they was different and ugly.His boss angry with him and changed my ears better.At the moment my ears a little different.i cry because of this and my sister encouraged to me.i grateful for is it because i got rid of many complexes with her advice and support,i tell this story from tell to my experience

in conlusion i want to say thanks for your support,help and patience from my pyberty.

Word Count: 312

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sister: 4

confident: 3

always: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing what the writer has learned from their sister, whom they admire. A position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant, but they lack clarity and depth. To improve, provide more specific examples and develop the ideas more fully. Focus on explaining how the writer has applied what they learned from their sister in different situations. Also, ensure the conclusion directly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the progression of ideas is often unclear and disjointed. Paragraphing is present but not always effective in grouping related ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. To improve coherence, focus on creating clearer connections between ideas, using appropriate transition words and phrases, and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus and purpose.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice and usage. There is some attempt to use more sophisticated language, but this is not always successful. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of words and phrases accurately and appropriately. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors often impede understanding. While there is some attempt to use a range of grammatical structures, accuracy is inconsistent. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to punctuation and spelling, and proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: What have you learned from someone you admire? How have you used it?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

in an age when most written communication is typed instead of being hand written, some people argue the clear attractive handwriting is no longer important. However, others believe that the appearance of a persons handwriting is still important today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is his a positive or negative development?

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that is money could be batter spent elswhere

Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people use the Internet to get medical advice instead of going to see a doctor. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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