Discussion

Band 5+: With the rise of personalized medicine and genetic testing, some argue that health insurance companies should have access to individuals' genetic information to tailor premiums based on predisposition to certain diseases. Others believe this would lead to discrimination and unfair pricing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, medicine that based on people’s genetic testing is gaining popularity.Some believe that health insurance companies should charge specific type of individuals who needs higher and more demanding medicine more than those who is not at high risk of having genetic predispositions.While others think that health insurance should not discriminate people based on their health conditions.

Health companies must provide equal insurance to all of their people. As it is basic human right and nobody chooses their health condition or genetic suffering.For instance, individual who has complicated genetic disease has the same right as someone with normal flu. Although, the other person who suffers from more challenging sickness needs better equipment to be analized and specific type of cure.

As much as i agree with the healthcare companies treating everyone equally,some patients are in need of much demanding caring and cures for their conditions.In some cases, people with genetic predispositions, for example, have to get special resources and cures from highly qualified science laboratories,as they might not be able to purchase them in their living area.That leads to high costs of needed products and delivery services.Additionally, the time spent hospitalized by those patients are much higher and more frequent in treatment years, as they need to be treated more than those without genetic factors.

To conclude, Health insurance must treat everyone fairly as every individual has right for it, although some genetically ill people’s health costs more as they need more cures and attention, it must be considerable for all of society.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

genetic: 6

health: 6

their: 5

insurance: 4

companies: 3

those: 3

people: 3

right: 3

cures: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views on tailored health insurance based on genetic predispositions. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and depth. The arguments could be more thoroughly developed with specific examples and explanations. To improve, focus on providing more concrete evidence and elaborating on the potential consequences of each viewpoint. Also, ensure a clearer and more nuanced expression of your own opinion, acknowledging the complexities of the issue.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a somewhat clear position but lacks consistent progression and logical sequencing of ideas. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or absent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical connectors, and well-defined paragraphs, each addressing a single aspect of the argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or effective. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to the topic and using a wider range of synonyms and collocations. Pay attention to the precise meaning of words and their appropriate usage in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors often impede understanding. The range of grammatical structures used is limited. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to common errors and seek feedback on your writing to identify areas for improvement.

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