Discussion

Band 5+: With the rise of personalized medicine and genetic testing, some argue that health insurance companies should have access to individuals' genetic information to tailor premiums based on predisposition to certain diseases. Others believe this would lead to discrimination and unfair pricing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals suggest that health insurance ought to be selected according to the genetic predisposition, while others believe that it should not depend on inherited traits.

There are several reasons why it is vital getting health insurance regardless of genetic factors. Firstly, there are several amounts of people having health issues and may be in need of immediate medicine support in order not to lose the life. Secodnly, well-being problems may appear suddenly even if they are not genetic. For example and individual can have serious complications after an influenza leading to chronical disease. Finally, people with shortened amount of lifetime. Such individuals should be accepted without any queue in getting medicinal help.

I believe that health insurance should definitely be tailored due to the individual genetic traits. Initially, a person having an allergy, which is usually gained as genetic trait cannot wait. For example, if an individual has an allergic reaction on nutrition containing nuts and takes it reaction will be immediate and there will be no time for waiting for your queue. Furthermore, all elderly people as a rule have health issues because of their age. Unfotunately, there is no chance for them to wait as their life depends on it. Last but not least, there is an increase of health issues among newborn babies in having problems with health.

In conclusion, my view is that individuals with serious high risk or genetic health issues should certainly have more opportunities in getting immediate medicine help from speacialists.

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

health: 7

genetic: 6

should: 4

there: 4

issues: 4

individuals: 3

insurance: 3

getting: 3

people: 3

having: 3

immediate: 3

individual: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views on whether health insurance should be tailored to individual genetic predispositions. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The arguments are somewhat repetitive and could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer focus. To improve, provide more detailed explanations and evidence to support your claims, and ensure a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction and conclusion are basic and lack depth. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing. For example, instead of just 'Firstly, Secondly, Finally,' try using phrases like 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition to this.' Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'several amounts of people,' 'shortened amount of lifetime'). Expand your range of vocabulary by reading widely and noting down useful words and phrases. Pay attention to collocations and the correct usage of words in context. Try to use more specific and nuanced language to express your ideas more effectively. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and problems with articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using a grammar checker to help you identify areas for improvement, but always review the suggestions critically.

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