Opinion

Band 4+: Write about the importance of family. • Why your family is important to you. • Why family is or is not important for society. • How you think families will change in the future

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Family is a group of people who love and care of each other , but this word is very personal for each person.

I was born in type of family called ” nuclear family”. I live with my Mom , Dad, Brother and my dog 🙂 As for me family is not only the people who just feed you and pay for your education , desire and circles. Family is people with whom you would like to spend your discretionary time and have desire to communicate with. I’m not saing that you must get on like a house on fire with all members of your family but stay in touch is very important.

In my opinion, family is important for society because it has very big impact on it. As for example , after so many years society created many tipes of families such as : blended , close-knit, extended, immediate , single and of course nuclear family. The fact that all of them were diveloped only because some group of people decited to live in a certain way and other families simply startet repeat after each other , makes all this phenomena very interesting.

I also would like to belive that in the nearest future all families will change in a good way. It would be much better if there was less sexism and deskimuration in families. For instance , not only the men will be the main breadwinner but woman also. I know that not all countries have this problem but such as Russia , Ukraine and especially in the Middle East and Nourth Africa , have big troubles.

Word Count: 271

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

family: 7

people: 4

families: 4

other: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the importance of family, but the ideas are not fully developed and lack depth. The position on the importance of family for society is not clearly presented and lacks support. The discussion on how families will change in the future is limited and lacks depth. The essay would benefit from providing more detailed and well-supported ideas on each aspect of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the ideas are not presented in a clear and organized manner. There are issues with paragraphing and the flow of ideas, making it difficult to follow the message. Additionally, there are some language issues that affect the overall coherence. To improve, focus on organizing the ideas into well-structured paragraphs and using cohesive devices to link the ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates some flexibility in the use of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise and inaccurate word choices. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a need for more sophisticated and precise lexical features. To enhance lexical resource, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary accurately and appropriately, and pay attention to word choice and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay displays a limited range of grammatical structures and there are several grammatical errors throughout. Punctuation and sentence structure also need improvement for better accuracy. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of grammatical structures and pay attention to sentence construction and punctuation.

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