Opinion

Band 5+: WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays, people argued that music is a great way to unite the different countries and ages together.I completely agree with this statement, because music is something incredible.It has the ability to inspire people and bring them close together.

One of the main reasons, why music give sense of unity culture is that the people can listen the music from everywhere.Also, each country has the different culture and types of music.From my view, music conveys emotions, that understandable independently of language.Moreover, even people cannot speak on one language,they can enjoy,dance and acquainted with other cultures and traditions to music.For instance, on international fests individuals from other countries listen the one artist.From my experience I have a friend from Spain we are met in the Madrid, I really loved the spain songs whic advise my friend and I think is a good example that the music unite different cultures together.

In addition, music can create a common interest between different genarations.Parents may listen music with children and say about songs of their youth and childs may show the new modern songs.For example, in social media such as Youtube became popular new viral songs and I think that the all of the people heard this music independently of ages.Even though we are different generations, we have the same taste of music.For instance, many of the teenagers listen Victor Tsoy, Shakira, ABBA, Britney Spears and this artists thanks to popular songs unite the different ages.

In conclusion, I agree that music is an effective way of bringing people together, as it can help people from different cultures and generations understand and connect with each other.

Word Count: 271

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

music: 10

people: 7

different: 7

listen: 4

songs: 4

unite: 3

other: 3

cultures: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant, with some support and examples. However, the development is limited and lacks precision in places. There are issues with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure that affect clarity. To improve, focus on developing ideas more fully, using more precise language, and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Additionally, provide more specific and well-explained examples to strengthen the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented, but the flow is often disrupted by abrupt transitions and missing connectors. For example, the introduction jumps from the topic to agreement without a smooth lead-in. The body paragraphs contain examples, but they are not always clearly linked to the main point. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'For instance') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical development. Also, avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence is complete and properly punctuated.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'music', 'people', 'different'). There are attempts at more sophisticated words (e.g., 'conveys emotions', 'unite'), but some are used incorrectly or awkwardly (e.g., 'give sense of unity culture', 'acquainted with other cultures'). Spelling errors (e.g., 'genarations', 'whic', 'spain') and informal phrasing (e.g., 'childs') reduce the lexical quality. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to culture, music, and unity, and practice using words in correct contexts. Also, proofread for spelling and word choice. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people argued' should be 'people argue', 'music give' should be 'music gives'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'can listen the music' should be 'can listen to music'), and missing articles (e.g., 'the different culture' should be 'different cultures'). Sentence structure is often simple and repetitive, with some run-on sentences and comma splices. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence boundaries. Practice writing more complex sentences with correct punctuation, and review common grammar mistakes.

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