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Letter

Band 5+: Why am I wanting to attend GES CUP competition (motivation letter)

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

My name is Robiya

I am interested to take part in GES CUP competition. I am highly motivated to use this opportunity, because of my future goals and dreams

I am 15 year old and I am 10th grader. I have studied for 5 all subject since my childhood, because of getting interested in education. When I studied at 7th class, my mom wanted that I learn English language and I made the best decision in my life, which was learning English language,as well I went to GES educational centre, started learning English well,although I had ups and downs and hard time, however challenges made me strong, so I made an effort and I decided not to give up. I have been studying at GES for 3 years. I found satisfactory in this educational centre.Now my English level is Upper intermediate. In addition to, I am studying biology and as soon as possible I am taking up chemistry course, because of my future profession. As well as I am planning to take IELTS,SAT tests and study in abroad

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
english: 4
because: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The letter addresses the task by outlining the writer's interest in the GES CUP competition and providing some reasons for their motivation. However, the response includes some irrelevant details and lacks a clear, focused explanation of why the competition is specifically appealing. To improve, focus on directly addressing the prompt by clearly stating how the GES CUP competition aligns with your goals and dreams. Avoid including extraneous information that doesn't directly support your motivation for attending the competition.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The letter's organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping related ideas into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability. For example, the introduction could clearly state your intention and the main reasons for wanting to attend the GES CUP competition. Each subsequent paragraph could then elaborate on these reasons with specific examples and details. Using transitional phrases can also help to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

5
While the vocabulary is generally adequate, there's room to enhance it by using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using phrases like 'I am interested,' try synonyms such as 'I am eager' or 'I am keen.' Additionally, incorporating more specific vocabulary related to the competition and your field of study could make your letter more compelling.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct tense usage. For example, phrases like '5 all subject' should be revised for accuracy. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help improve grammatical accuracy.

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