Positive And Negative

Band 5+: In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

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It is argued that in some nations, employees take the majority of time at work. The reason why this happens is because they want to get a promotion, it is a negative development because it causes exhaustion.

Many people spend long hours of their day in work to get a promotion. Employees think that working various hours a day might get them a promotion. And for them to get one is striving and perseverance, not just working long hours.For instance, employees in Saudi Arabia think that the primary reason to get an upgrade is to work more than 10 hours a day just to show the management that they are able to handle the amount of work.

The negative side of this is that it causes exhaustion. People who work long hours a day get tired easily, by not getting enough sleep time or standing a very long time in work. This often adds up and harm you very badly, and the most effected ones are adolescents wich they can not get a comfortable job and would sacrifice there health to get a nice and comfy job that they can not afford it at this age . For example, teenagers who have a job might be seen in a hospital for a backache all because standing a long time in work just to get a promotion and all of that is for nothing.

In conclusion, while people spend long time working just to get a promotion, I believe that it is harmful and causes exhaustion.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

promotion: 5

hours: 4

employees: 3

because: 3

causes: 3

people: 3

working: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and relevant main ideas. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are not fully convincing and could be more specific. To improve, focus on providing clearer explanations and more detailed support for your ideas. Also, consider exploring a wider range of reasons for long working hours and a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the connections between ideas could be clearer. The introduction and conclusion are basic. Paragraphing is present, but the flow within paragraphs can be improved. Use more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences more effectively. Consider adding topic sentences to the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and basic. There are instances of imprecise word choice. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary that is more specific and appropriate for the topic. Focus on learning synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more accurately and effectively. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors sometimes impede understanding. To improve, focus on practicing grammar rules and sentence construction. Review the basics of English grammar and try to apply them consistently in your writing. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

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