Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a pie chart where 29% of the adult population in 2015 was healthy or underweight, 31% was overweight, and 34% was obese (too fat), while 6% is categorized in a section not labeled directly.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The supplied pie chart illustrates the comparison of people who were overweight, obese, or healthy in 2015. The values are measured in percents. Overall, it can be seen that adults who were obese are more numerous than others.

The majority of elders were fat in 2015, which accounted for 34 percent, while people who were overweight were 3 percent less than the obese adults. Therefore, obese adults and grown ups who were overweight were noticably more numerous than healthy adults and elders who were underweight.

Healthy people contributed 29%, which is fewer than fat adults and grown ups who were overweight. However, underweight individuals were remarkably less than others that accounted for only 6%, whereas others, like humans who have overweight, obesity or healthy individuals had approximatily 30%.

The largest percent of adults was overweight humans, while the smallest percent was underweight people. Whereas, others have about the same percent.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

overweight: 6

adults: 6

percent: 5

people: 4

obese: 4

healthy: 3

others: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and makes relevant comparisons. There is a clear overview and the main data points are mentioned. However, the organization could be improved for better clarity, and there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported. To improve, focus on structuring the information more logically and ensuring the accuracy of the data presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The flow of ideas is not always smooth, and the paragraphing feels somewhat arbitrary. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could help to clarify the relationships between different categories. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and purpose.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. There is some repetition of terms like 'overweight,' 'obese,' and 'healthy.' Try to incorporate synonyms or rephrase to avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'fat,' consider alternatives like 'individuals with obesity' or 'those in the obese category.' Also, be careful with word choice; 'elders' is not the most appropriate term here; 'adults' is better.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'The majority of elders were fat' is not grammatically precise. Similarly, 'Healthy people contributed 29%' could be phrased more accurately as 'Healthy adults constituted 29% of the population.' Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Review and correct these errors to improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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