Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a pie chart where 29% of the adult population in 2015 was healthy or underweight, 31% was overweight, and 34% was obese (too fat), while 6% is categorized in a section not labeled directly.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The supplied pie chart represents the comparison of people who were overweight, obese or healthy in 2015. The values measured in percents. Overall it can be seen that adults who were obese are more than others.

Most adults were obese in 2015, which accounted for 34%, while people who have overweight were 3 percent less than the obese adults. Therefore, fat adults and old people who have overweight were noticably more than healthy adults and elderly people who have underweight.

Healthy people contributed to 29%, which is really slighter than obese and fat people. However, individuals who have underweight were remarkably less than others that accounted for 6%, whereas others like humans who have overweight, obesity or healthy individuals had approximatily 30%.

Word Count: 122

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

obese: 5

adults: 5

overweight: 4

healthy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main features of the pie chart, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. The organization is acceptable, but the language contains errors that occasionally impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and proofreading for grammatical errors. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not presented in a coherent manner, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Paragraphing could be improved to group related ideas together more effectively. For example, the second paragraph contains multiple unrelated ideas, making it difficult to understand the main point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases, such as 'obese' and 'overweight'. The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more accurately and effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'fat,' consider using synonyms like 'corpulent' or 'plump' to add variety and sophistication to your writing. Also, the phrase 'fat adults' is not appropriate; consider using 'adults with obesity'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. For example, the sentence 'The values measured in percents' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'The values are measured in percent'. There are also issues with sentence structure, making some sentences difficult to understand. For example, the sentence 'Therefore, fat adults and old people who have overweight were noticably more than healthy adults and elderly people who have underweight' is convoluted and unclear.

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