Pie Chart

Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008

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The image presents two pie charts comparing the distribution of people's total spending in a European country for 1958 and 2008. In 1958, the spending distribution is: Housing 22%, Food 32%, Clothing 18%, Travel/transport 8%, Entertainment 13%, Luxury goods 7%. In 2008, the spending distribution is: Housing 32%, Food 12%, Clothing 16%, Travel/transport 17%, Entertainment 18%, Luxury goods 6%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts below demonstrate the percentage of people’s overall expenditures in a specific European country on variety of commodities and services in 1958 and 2008.

Overall, in both years, the highest proportion among all sections was 32%. In 1958 food spending accounted for the highest rate, however in 2008 accommodation services represented the highest rate.

In 1958 luxury goods represented only 7% of the total expenditures, this service sales increased by 10% in 2008. Followed by the second least sales, travel and transport which also increased in 2008. Food section was the most service people spent money on in the European country, showing a percent of 32.

Sales of accommodation services were the highest in 2008 reaching 32%, in contrast entertainment services were the lowest proportion accounting for 6%. Luxury goods and traveling showed similar rates at 17% each. Food and clothing expenditures were relatively close representing 12% and 16%, respectively.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

services: 4

highest: 4

expenditures: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the pie charts, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. The structure is somewhat unclear, and the writing could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and organizing the information more logically, perhaps by comparing each category across the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the structure could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' paragraph is a bit simplistic and doesn't provide a strong overview. The subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it harder to follow the comparisons between 1958 and 2008. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, you could group the information by category (e.g., increases, decreases, and stable spending areas) to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'sales' or 'spending,' try incorporating synonyms like 'expenditure,' 'consumption,' or 'proportion of budget.' Also, consider using more specific language to describe trends (e.g., 'a significant increase,' 'a slight decrease').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'this service sales increased by 10% in 2008' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Similarly, 'Food section was the most service people spent money on' is awkward. Focus on using correct sentence structures, verb tenses, and pronoun references. Proofreading carefully for errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word choice is essential.

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