Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a pie chart where 29% of the adult population in 2015 was healthy or underweight, 31% was overweight, and 34% was obese (too fat), while 6% is categorized in a section not labeled directly.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The pie chart presents percentage of adults who were reported with healthy or underweight (White), overweight (Grey) and extreme obsesity (Black) in 2015 respectively.

While those who are healthy cover only a small portionof the chart, almost the second half corresponds for both groups of individuals who suffers either overweight or extreme obesity.

According to the data, only 6% of the population are really in a good state by being healthy. But in the case of the overweight community, we can observe that they followed a different trend by reaching 29%. Then, there is this other part of the population who are no too bat, but they are not healthy at all, by reaching 31%

Finally, In contrast with the tree previous groups, the most noticeable feature can be found in the group of people who are too fat, by reaching a peak of 34% according to the numbers provided

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

healthy: 4

overweight: 3

reaching: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but includes inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, structuring the report logically, and using more formal language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the flow of ideas is not always clear. The introduction is present, but the subsequent paragraphs lack a clear structure. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the connections between the percentages mentioned in the second and third paragraphs are not explicitly stated, making it harder for the reader to follow the comparisons. Paragraphing could be more effectively used to group related information and improve the overall structure.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice ('suffers either overweight or extreme obesity,' 'no too bat'). Expanding the vocabulary and using more precise language would improve the clarity and sophistication of the report. Consider using synonyms and more descriptive terms to convey the information more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('cover' instead of 'covers'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with punctuation. Correcting these errors and improving sentence structure would significantly enhance the grammatical accuracy of the report. For example, 'extreme obsesity' should be 'extreme obesity,' and 'percentage of adults who were reported with healthy or underweight' could be rephrased for clarity.

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