Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows various transport tourists used within New Zealand in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows various transport tourists used within New Zealand in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows data on transport use in New Zealand in 2004 by nationality: British took air 55, coach 30, car 35, ferry 5; Germans took air 30, coach 25, car 45, ferry 10; Japanese took air 60, coach 10, car 40, ferry 5; Koreans took air 45, coach 5, car 30, ferry 5; Australians took air 40, coach 10, car 55, and ferry 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates using the types of transportations, namely air transportation, coach, car and ferry by some tourists in New Zealand in 2004. Overall, the coaches were used more by all tourists except Japanese and Korean tourists. However, the ferries were used less by tourists compared to other tranportations.

As it can be seen, the Britian tourists liked to use cars more then other vehicles about just under 60% and the air transportations located in the second place by around 20%. In addition, coaches were also the most popular transportation for German and Australian tourists about approximately 50%. Furthermore, Korean tourists tended to use cars more than other transportation almost about just under 50% and Japanese tourists used air transportation the most just over 50%. The

By contrast, the ferries were less popular vehicles to transport by all tourists in New Zealand. Britian and German tourists use ferries in the same percentage about 20% that was equal with the proportion of cars which used by Australian tourists.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourists: 11

transportation: 4

about: 4

ferries: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but contains inaccuracies and some unclear descriptions. The organization is present but could be improved with clearer paragraphing and topic sentences. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensuring clarity in your descriptions. Also, avoid using vague language like 'just under 60%' when the exact figure is available.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from the overall statement to specific details about each nationality feels abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and create a clearer narrative.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('liked to use cars more then other vehicles'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on more accurate word choices would improve the clarity and sophistication of your writing. For example, instead of 'liked to use,' consider 'preferred to use.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tense ('Britian tourists liked to use cars'), incorrect preposition use ('transport by all tourists'), and awkward phrasing ('about approximately 50%'). Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules, including subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition use. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly improve your writing.

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