Letter

Band 7+: You have been using a public transportation service (bus, train, etc.) regularly, and lately, its quality has declined significantly. Write a letter to the transportation authority explaining the problems you've been experiencing. You should include details about: - what specific issues you've observed - how these issues have affected your daily routine - what improvements you would like to see.

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To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express my unsatisfactory experience riding the MRT northbound train last Saturday, January 10. I boarded the train at the Ayala Station around 10 o’clock in the morning when the train unexpectedly stopped midway. We heard an announcement that the train had encountered some technical issues and that we had no choice but to walk to the next stop, which was Boni Station.

This was indeed a big inconvenience as it caused me to miss my scheduled interview that morning. It was also very difficult to walk in the tracks in broad daylight. It could have been a dangerous situation for some of the passengers. I even saw a couple of senior aged people struggling to walk. Futhermore, we also did not receive any assistance once we reached Boni Station.

I would like to see improvements on the maintenance of your trains moving forward. I sincerely hope that you are able to figure out what caused the technical problem, and be able to prevent that from happening again in the future.

Sincerely,

Nick

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

train: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant details about the negative experience, including the time and location, a description of the issues, and suggestions for improvement. The letter is well-organized and uses a formal tone. To further enhance the response, consider adding more specific details about the desired improvements to prevent similar problems in the future. For example, you could suggest more frequent maintenance checks or a better system for assisting passengers during disruptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The sequence of events is clear, and the request for improvements logically follows the description of the problem. To enhance coherence, consider adding a sentence or two at the beginning to clearly state the purpose of the letter (e.g., 'I am writing to formally complain about...'). Also, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a consistent flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and effectively conveys the message. There's room to enhance the lexical resource by incorporating more varied and specific vocabulary related to transportation issues and solutions. For example, instead of 'big inconvenience,' you could use 'significant disruption' or 'considerable setback.' Also, instead of 'technical problem', you could use 'mechanical failure' or 'equipment malfunction'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. Pay close attention to punctuation, particularly commas and apostrophes, to further refine the writing. For example, 'senior aged people' could be rephrased as 'elderly people' for better grammatical flow.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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