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Band 6+: this graph shows the number of polar bears found in a survey of four sites at western hudson bay in canada.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing data from 1985 and 1995, showing the distribution of bears across four study areas; in 1985, out of 881 total bears, Churchill Study Area North had 332 bears, Churchill Study Area Southeast had 98 bears, Cape Tatnam Study Area North had 210 bears, and Cape Tatnam Study Area Southeast had 241 bears; in 1995, for 575 total bears, Churchill Study Area North had 227 bears, Churchill Study Area Southeast had 62 bears, Cape Tatnam Study Area North had 216 bears, and Cape Tatnam Study Area Southeast had 70 bears.

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The two pie charts gives the information about the number of polar bears found in four different sites namely as Churchill Study Area North, Churchill Study Area Southeast, Cape Tantam Study Area North and Cape Tantam Study Area Southeast, during a survey at Western Hudson Bay in Canada, for 1985 and 1995.

Overall, it is evident that the total number of polar bears decreased over the period. However, north area of Churchill accounted for the largest proportion, while southeast of Cape Tatnam represented the smallest share in both the years.

The largest bear proportion was attributed to Churchill study area of North, which accounted for 332 and 227 bears in 1985 and 1995 respectively of the total. This was followed by Churchilli Study area southeast with 241 bears in 1985, but this position was overtaken by Cape Tantam North area, comprising approximately 216 bears by 1995. The most significant changes in the count were observed in churchill study area southeast, while the count remained relatively stable in Cape Tatnam area north.

In contrast, the number of bears in Churchill Study area southeast represented minor share at just 70 in 1995 and the smallest segment with only 62 bears was in southeast area of Cape Tatnam.

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

study: 8

bears: 7

southeast: 7

churchill: 6

north: 5

number: 3

tantam: 3

tatnam: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts. The overall trends and key features are identified, such as the decrease in the total number of polar bears and the areas with the largest and smallest proportions. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and a few areas where the description could be more precise. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and directly supported by the visual information. Also, consider using more comparative language to highlight the changes between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and ideas are mostly smooth, contributing to a good flow. However, there are instances where the connection between sentences could be strengthened to improve coherence further. For example, elaborating more on the reasons behind the observed changes in bear populations could enhance the narrative.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing the data. Terms like 'accounted for,' 'proportion,' 'attributed,' and 'significant changes' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and precise language to describe the trends and data. For instance, instead of 'decreased,' you could use 'declined,' 'diminished,' or 'reduced.' Also, ensure consistent spelling of place names (e.g., 'Cape Tatnam' vs. 'Cape Tantam'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct and clear. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'The two pie charts gives the information' should be 'The two pie charts give the information' or 'The two pie charts provide information.' Also, check for subject-verb agreement and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these minor errors can improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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