Discussion

Band 6+: some people see that the internet brought people closer. others deny that, saying that the internet made communities more and more isolated. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, many people argue that the internet helps people make friends and become closer to each other, while others think that spending too much time online can isolate people from real life. This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.

On the one hand, the internet has many advantages. People can learn new skills, for example, using online courses or artificial intelligence tools. It also allows people to communicate with friends and family, even if they live far away. Social platforms such as TikTok or Instagram help people share ideas and stay in touch.

On the other hand, spending too much time online can be harmful. It can affect mental and physical health, for example, causing poor vision, insomnia, or stress from comparing oneself to others. In addition, excessive use of the internet can isolate people from real life and reduce face-to-face communication.

In conclusion, I believe the internet has many advantages for modern life and learning. However, overusing it is unhealthy. In my opinion, people should learn to balance their time online and offline.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

internet: 4

online: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential consequences of both the positive and negative impacts of the internet. Also, ensure a more in-depth exploration of the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear argument and follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. Transitions are used to connect ideas, but could be more sophisticated to enhance the flow. For instance, varying the introductory phrases of your body paragraphs could improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the topic. Words and phrases like 'isolate,' 'excessive use,' and 'face-to-face communication' are used effectively. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary related to technology and its impact on society. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a strong command of grammar with accurate sentence structures and punctuation. The complexity and variety in sentence construction contribute to the overall clarity of the writing. Continue to focus on maintaining this high level of grammatical accuracy in future essays.

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