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Letter

Band 4+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Greetings,dear retailer

Recently,i have purchased a smartphone from you,more accurately an Iphone 14.It was 4 days ago.According to your description,the state of this certain phone was perfectly fine,as it should be.However,there are significant dissimilarities between expected and real model.Firstly,when just unpacked,the phone screen,which is the most crucial part of the phone,was already wide cracked.Indeed,it made me upset.However,due to the lack of my time to get the iphone ready,i have delayed the time of writing a report letter to you.If only its was just a cracked screen,but the battery had unignorable issues too!That is unacceptable!Normally,it would have around 7 hours of screentime,but the phone you have sent had barely lasted 3 hours!A mistake this bad has never happened in my life ever before.The 3 hours of my usage was the worst experience i have ever had.

I require an apology message from you and the reason of such a terrible error.You should better check it beforehand to avoid mistakes similar to mine.And if its possible,send me a real iphone 14 without issues as a compensation,or send my money back.Otherwise,i will get my team of lawyers ready,and sue you.

Looking forward to you to answer.

Customer

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

iphone: 3

phone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6

The letter adequately covers the task requirements by detailing the phone's condition, battery issues, and desired resolution. However, the tone is somewhat aggressive and could be more professional. To improve, focus on maintaining a polite yet firm tone throughout the letter and ensure all points are clearly and concisely presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

4

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more effective transitions between points to enhance readability. For example, when transitioning from the cracked screen issue to the battery problem, a clearer link could be established. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the impact. For example, instead of saying 'wide cracked,' you could use 'severely cracked.' Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper punctuation. For instance, sentences like 'If only its was just a cracked screen' need revision. Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch these errors.

Answers On The Same Topic:

You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: – The date you purchased the phone and order number – Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery – What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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