Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Dear Sir,

I hope you are well. I am writing to report an issue with the mobile phone I purchased a few months ago from Bismillah Store. After some time, the mobile phone’s sound is not clear, and the battery’s health is short-lived.

However, this mobile phone has a 12-month warranty. Because when I buy a mobile phone, the sound is good, and the battery health is good. For a very few days, I used smottly. Your company’s repair as soon as possible. I think better to get a new mobile phone, or get a refund.

Randomly, in the present time, I need to do all the work, and the online class can’t be finished by me. Recently, the time has been very bad. So, you will be the best result for my issues.

According to my text, check it. I hope you better solution for me. I’m waiting for your feedback.

Your’s faithfuly

Abdur Rahman

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mobile: 5

phone: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but contains significant issues. The details provided are vague (e.g., "a few months ago," "sound is not clear"), and the language is unclear in several places. The request for action is also not clearly stated. To improve, provide specific details about the purchase date, phone model, and the exact nature of the damages. Clearly state whether you want a replacement or a refund.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always logical. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Within the body, address each point (date of purchase, specific damages, desired action) in a separate paragraph. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow from one point to the next. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic and ensure each sentence contributes to the overall message.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice (e.g., 'smottly,' 'battery's health is short-lived'). To enhance lexical resource, try to use more specific and varied vocabulary related to the context of complaining about a faulty product. For example, instead of 'sound is not clear,' you could say 'the audio is distorted' or 'the sound quality is poor.' Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your range of vocabulary. Also, pay attention to collocations (words that naturally go together) to ensure your language sounds natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that impede clarity. These include issues with sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, the sentence 'Your company's repair as soon as possible' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Review verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles (a, an, the). Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct mistakes. Practice writing regularly and seek feedback from a teacher or language partner to identify areas for improvement.

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