Letter

Band 7+: You are organizing a fundraising gala for a local charity and want to invite potential donors and supporters. Write a letter to potential donors inviting them to the gala. You should include details about: - the charity's mission and the gala's purpose - the date, time, and location of the gala - how their attendance and contributions will help the charity.

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To,

The Secretary of XYZ,

Subject: Invitation to participate in the charity fundraising for Mrs. Smith’s cancer surgery.

Dear Mr. Secretary,

With great hope and optimism, we are reaching out to you to support our charity fundraising for Mrs. Smith’s cancer surgery. We are the students of local public school, and our teacher, Mrs. Wanda Smith, who has been teaching in this school for the last 20 years are now suffering from a life threatening disease, i.e. bone cancer. Her health is getting detrimental with each passing day. The doctors have advised that an immidiate surgery is indispensable.

To get this surgery done, it is going to cost around 50 thousand dollars, which Mrs. Smith cannot sustain on her own. To deal with this tragedy, we the students, decided to organise an event for the fundraiser. We are inviting you to visit this event on this sunday evening, at 5 P.M. at our Community center lawn.

Your attendance at this event will foster courage and valor to Mrs. Smith’s battle with her disease. Any small or big contribution is welcome and highly appreciated. You can donate the amount in person by visiting the event, or via online transfer to our mobile number. As some of the donors have requested for cheque payment, we have decided to accept the cheque as well.

Thank you

Yours Sincerely

Word Count: 225

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 4

smith's: 3

cancer: 3

surgery: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by inviting potential donors to a fundraising event for Mrs. Smith's cancer surgery. It includes details about the cause, the event, and how contributions can be made. To improve, the letter could provide more specific details about the charity's mission (beyond just helping Mrs. Smith), offer more engaging details about the fundraising event itself (what activities will be included?), and provide a more compelling explanation of how the donations will directly impact Mrs. Smith's treatment and well-being. Also, the tone could be slightly more formal and professional, considering the audience is potential donors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The purpose of the letter is immediately apparent. However, the transition between explaining Mrs. Smith's situation and detailing the fundraising event could be smoother. Consider adding a sentence that directly links the need for funds to the specifics of the event. Also, ensure that the details of the event (location, time) are clearly presented and easy to find within the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, and the tone is generally suitable for a fundraising invitation. However, there are opportunities to enhance the language to make it more persuasive and impactful. For example, instead of 'Your attendance at this event will foster courage and valor,' consider a more direct and emotionally engaging phrase like 'Your presence and support will provide immense encouragement to Mrs. Smith.' Also, vary the language used to describe donations; instead of repeating 'contribution,' use synonyms like 'donation,' 'support,' or 'gift.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that need attention. For example, 'are now suffering' should be 'is now suffering' to agree with the singular subject 'Mrs. Wanda Smith.' Also, 'an immidiate surgery' should be 'an immediate surgery.' Correcting these errors will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the letter. Proofread carefully to catch such mistakes.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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