Discussion

Band 5+: Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society. Support your answer with reasons and examples .from your own knowl edge or experience.

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It is undeniable that modern medical science can handle with many diseases. Despite the past where diseases were more deadly for a lot of people and in that time, they don’t have any medications to treatment however nowadays the modern medical science has solution to combat with these diseases which completely changed our life than before.

From my knowledge about our past there was a lot of epidemic diseases which is combatted by quarantine and experimental treatment. Before we don’t have any knowledge how diseases work into any organisms but with time people adapted and studied a lot about diseases. This is main reason why modern medical science possible to handle with diseases. In my opinion, even if it will be a new disease our modern medical science has a chance to create vaccine and the one real clear example is COVID19. There was COVID in 2019 which started in China and spread all over the world also after it all countries had a quarantine. During the quarantine a lot of other countries created own vaccine which saved a lot of people.

Since medical science has developed human culture has changed along with it. People started use masks, wash their hands and also take a vaccine to prevent disease. Medical science modernized human hygiene that contributed to the prolongation of life. I hope that medical science defeat all disease in future.

Summarize the modern medical science has defeated many diseases also medical science change and prolongated our life.

Word Count: 248

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

medical: 9

science: 9

diseases: 8

modern: 5

which: 4

people: 3

quarantine: 3

disease: 3

vaccine: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing the impact of medical science on combating diseases and its effect on longevity. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and depth. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure. To improve, focus on developing your ideas more fully and providing more concrete evidence to support your claims. Also, ensure a more organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to separate distinct ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance the overall coherence. Consider using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and transition words to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the depth of the discussion. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('handle with diseases') and unnatural phrasing. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to medical science and societal impacts. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and word order.

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