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Band 5+: The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below. Give possible reasons for the differences. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below. Give possible reasons for the differences. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image features a table divided into five columns labeled by occupation: Student, Truck Driver, Full-time mother, Business Executive, Doctor. Each column shows hourly blocks from 6-7 pm to 5-6 pm the next day, indicating periods of sleep (red) and wakefulness (white). For the Student: asleep from 12-1 am, 1-2 am, 2-3 am, 3-4 am, awakes from 4-5 am to 11-12 pm, sleeps at 12-1 pm, then stays awake. Truck Driver: asleep from 12-1 am to 3-4 am, awake from 4-5 am to 7-8 pm, sleeps from 8-9 pm to 1-2 pm next day. Full-time mother: asleep from 11-12 pm to 5-6 am, awake rest of the time except sleeps at 1-2 pm. Business Executive: asleep from 9-10 pm to 4-5 am, awake until 9-10 pm next day with no break. Doctor: asleep from 9-10 pm to 3-4 am, awake and sleeps again from 12-1 pm to 1-2 pm.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates the sleep features of individuals in five different categories such as students, truck drivers, full-time mothers, business executives, and doctors.

Overall, the demonstration was made according to Canadian investigation; the red boxes describe asleep time, and the white boxes describe awake time. The occupation bar explains the time periods starting from 6-7 pm and finishing at 5-6 pm.

We can see a first group that consists of full-time mothers, business executives, and doctors. They have small differences in sleep trends. For instance, students, mothers students, and doctors have some awake time between sleeping; meanwhile, business executives have continual time of sleeping. Moreover, full-time moms have a nap for 2 hours at 4 pm, but the average sleeping time starts from 10-11 pm and ends at 6-7 am.

In contrast, truck drivers have an opposite type of sleeping hours, which consist of 2 stages of asleep, the first one starts at 7 am and ends at 10 am, and the second one that starts at 4 am and ends at 6 pm.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 3

full-time: 3

mothers: 3

business: 3

executives: 3

sleeping: 3

starts: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but struggles with accuracy and task fulfillment. A significant issue is that the prompt explicitly asks for 'possible reasons for the differences,' which the report fails to provide. Regarding data description, there are several inaccuracies and contradictions (e.g., mentioning 'mothers students' and providing sleep times that do not align clearly with the visual description). To improve, ensure you directly answer all parts of the prompt, particularly when asked to provide explanations or reasons. Additionally, focus on grouping data logically and ensuring that the reported figures/times are consistent and accurate to the provided visual.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions. The overview section is overly descriptive of the chart's legend (explaining what red and white boxes mean) rather than summarizing the main trends of the data. To improve, focus on grouping occupations based on shared characteristics (e.g., those with fragmented sleep vs. those with continuous sleep) and use more sophisticated cohesive devices to link these observations.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of imprecise word choices, such as 'the demonstration was made' or 'the occupation bar explains,' which do not sound natural in an academic report. Additionally, there are errors in word formation and usage (e.g., 'mothers students'). Aim to use more precise academic verbs like 'depicts,' 'represents,' or 'indicates,' and vary your vocabulary when describing sleep patterns (e.g., 'interrupted sleep,' 'nocturnal,' 'diurnal,' or 'segmented sleep').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward sentence structures that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and the use of prepositions. For example, the description of the truck driver's sleep stages is confusingly phrased. To improve, practice using a wider variety of complex sentence structures (such as relative clauses) and ensure that your descriptions of time and duration are grammatically precise.

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