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Band 4+: the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

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The image details: Average salary 2004 by sector - Finance: 83,000 (2.9%), Public services: 92,000 (3.7%), Transportation: 81,000 (4.5%), Manufacturing: 42,000 (4.7%), Agriculture: 40,000 (2.31%), Wholesale and retail trade: 77,000 (8.41%); Rate of employment sectors of graduates - Public services: 30%, Manufacturing: 20%, Agriculture: 25%, Finance: 5%, Wholesale and retail trade: 10%, Transportation: 10%.

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The charts illustrate average salary of different sector in 2004 with comparing to 2003 and percentage of employment sectors of graduates.

Overall, employees in public sector had highest salary, in addition, majority percent of employement sectors of graduates from public services, while agricuture workers earned a list.

In 2004, finance and transportation sectors got average 83 and 81 thousands, if compare to one year before changes was 2.9 and 4.5 percent. Public services workers earned in middle 92.000, furthermore, their salary increased to 3.7 percent. Manufacturing and agriculture employees together earned same average salary with public services sectors, however, their changes was almost twice as many than public sector.

30 percent employees went to public sector after graduate. Then following agriculture and manufacturing with 25 and 20 percent. Same outcome was shown by transportation and wholesale and retail, both had 10 percent. The list and twice as less than transportation and wholesale and retail had finance graduates.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

public: 6

percent: 6

salary: 4

sectors: 4

average: 3

sector: 3

employees: 3

services: 3

earned: 3

transportation: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address all parts of the task, but there are significant issues with data interpretation and clarity. The writer frequently confuses the two different types of data (salary amounts vs. percentages), which leads to inaccurate descriptions of the trends. For example, describing a salary figure as a 'percent increase' or comparing salary amounts to percentage values makes the report difficult to follow. To improve, ensure a clear distinction is made between the monetary values (salaries) and the proportions (employment rates). Additionally, focus on using appropriate comparative structures to describe the relationship between the two charts more logically.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is frequently interrupted by poor sentence structure and incorrect use of cohesive devices. For example, the use of 'furthermore' and 'in addition' does not always align with the logical relationship between the facts presented. To improve, focus on using transition words that clearly show comparison (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Similarly') or sequence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that sentences flow naturally into one another.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which leads to ambiguity. Phrases like 'earned a list' or 'the list and twice as less' are not standard English and make the report difficult to understand. There is also a lack of variety in describing data (e.g., using 'percent' and 'salary' repeatedly). Aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms for 'show', 'increase', 'decrease', and 'sector', and ensure that word choices are precise and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the public sector'), and sentence construction (e.g., 'if compare to one year before changes was...'). The writer attempts complex structures but fails to control them, resulting in fragmented or nonsensical sentences. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures, correct tense usage, and the proper way to compare numbers and percentages before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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Band 4+: the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

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Answers On The Same Topic:

the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

the mix chart depicts the average salary of different sector in 2004 and the percentage of employment sectors of graduates

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