Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a bar graph detailing database enrollment options split by gender across five countries: Singapore, Malaysia, China, Sri Lanka, and France. Singapore male enrollment: core 2, networking 5; female enrollment: core 5, networking 4. Malaysia male enrollment: core 1, networking 5; female enrollment: core 3, networking 6. China male enrollment: core 4, networking 7; female enrollment: core 6, networking 9. Sri Lanka male enrollment: core 1, networking 4; female enrollment: core 3, networking 4. France male enrollment: core 2, networking 3; female enrollment: core 2, networking 3.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The data displays the amount of international pupils that interntional pupils that entered the computer science course at a college in Canada. It is visible in the chart that it is has been divided through 3 subjects : gender, country, and how the individuals entered the course. There are also 5 countries given ,which are: Singapore, Malaysia, China, Sri Lanka and France

Starting with Females, it can be seen that the gender has mostly done their enrollment through database networking. The country that has the highest that joined with this specific data is China, Singapore and Malaysia whom which have the same amount of pupils.

With the opposite side, however it is visible that they have leaned towards the database core option, peaking at almost 7,5 with both citizens of China and Sri Lanka following

To summarize the most noticeable points are that most male students have a leaning tendency towars the database core option whilst the other gender has the opposite

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

gender: 3

china: 3

database: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies the main categories (gender, country, and enrollment type). However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. The report contains repetitive phrasing in the introduction and makes several inaccurate claims regarding the data (for example, stating that China, Singapore, and Malaysia have the same amount of pupils in a specific category, which contradicts the visual description). Additionally, the summary of trends is somewhat contradictory and lacks the precision required for a high-scoring report. To improve, focus on accurately grouping data to make comparisons and ensure that the trends described are clearly supported by the numbers provided in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat disjointed. While you attempt to use transition signals like 'Starting with' and 'With the opposite side', the logical flow between sentences is interrupted by repetitive phrasing and unclear connections. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that sentences follow a logical progression. Avoid using 'To summarize' at the end of a Task 1 report; instead, use an overview paragraph at the beginning or integrate the main trends into your body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and contains several errors that impede clarity. There is significant repetition (e.g., 'international pupils that interntional pupils') and some word choices are unnatural or incorrect (e.g., 'the gender has mostly done their enrollment', 'citizens of China'). Try to use more academic synonyms for 'students' (e.g., undergraduates, learners) and 'show' (e.g., illustrate, depict). Ensure that you use precise terminology when describing data trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and punctuation. For example, 'it is has been divided' and 'the highest that joined with this specific data is China, Singapore and Malaysia whom which have the same amount' are grammatically incorrect. Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensure that your use of relative clauses (who/which/that) is accurate. Consistent proofreading will help eliminate basic errors in verb tense and word order.

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Band 4+: The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a third year Computer Science course at a Canadian college. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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