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Band 4+: the graph below shows the changes in the birth rates for women in 6 different age groups in the UK from 1973 to 2008. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: the graph below shows the changes in the birth rates for women in 6 different age groups in the UK from 1973 to 2008. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts UK women's birth rates from 1973 to 2008 in age groups: 25-29, 20-24, 30-35, under 20, 35-39, and 40 and over. In 1973, 25-29 had 140, 20-24 had 130, 30-35 had around 65, under 20 had 50, 35-39 had 25, and 40 and over had about 5. In 1978, 25-29 was 125, 20-24 was 100, 30-35 was 57, under 20 was 45, 35-39 was 25, 40 and over was about 5. By 1983, 25-29 was 110, 20-24 was 90, 30-35 was 60, under 20 was about 45, 35-39 was 25, 40 and over was around 5. In 1988, 25-29 was 115, 20-24 was 85, 30-35 was 60, under 20 was about 45, 35-39 was 25, 40 and over was around 6. By 1993, 25-29 was 112, 20-24 was 65, 30-35 was about 57, under 20 was 42, 35-39 was 25, 40 and over was around 8. In 1998, 25-29 was 100, 20-24 was 55, 30-35 was about 55, under 20 was 42, 35-39 was 30, and 40 and over was 10. By 2003, 25-29 was 102, 20-24 was about 55, 30-35 was 66, under 20 was 41, 35-39 was 40, 40 and over was about 12. In 2008, 25-29 was 98, 20-24 was 52, 30-35 was 95, under 20 was 40, 35-39 was 45, 40 and over was 16.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph below provide information about the changes in the birth rates for women in 6 age groups in the UK from 1973 to 2008.

Overall, the only age group that increase over this period is “30-35” and “35-39” years, the lowest result among women is by “40 and over” persons, moreover we can see that remaining ages also decrease over time.

In 1973, the highest birth rate amounted to “25-29” 140, whose result stayed the most significant between anothers, even in the 2008 it was 120. “20-25” started with approximately 125 and later dramatically fell to the 86. The bunch of “under 20” begun at 1973 with 60 birth, slightly declined by 35 years, ended up with 40. The team “40 and over” have been the poorest outcome started with only 20 and finished with aroud 15.

At the start “30-35” age group had like 70 birth and increasingly surged to the 83 in 2008. 40 people were born from the bunch of “35-39” in 1973, to the 1988 it had slowly growth, however in 1988 it shot up to the 62.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

birth: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and identifies some main trends, such as the general decline in most age groups and the increase in older age groups. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and consistency. Many of the figures cited in the report do not align with the provided visual description (for example, the starting values for the '40 and over' and '35-39' groups), which makes the report difficult to follow. Additionally, the use of informal or inappropriate terminology such as 'the bunch of', 'the team', and 'the poorest outcome' is not suitable for an academic report. To improve, focus on using precise mathematical language, ensuring all data points accurately reflect the graph, and maintaining a formal, objective tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor cohesive devices and phrasing. The use of terms like 'the bunch of', 'the team', and 'the poorest outcome' is inappropriate for an academic report and creates confusion. To improve, use standard transitional phrases (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Regarding', 'Turning to') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Avoid using informal or personified language to describe data sets.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is often inaccurate or used in an unnatural way for a data description task. Words like 'bunch', 'team', 'poorest outcome', and 'persons' are not suitable for academic writing. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in describing trends; instead of using 'shot up' or 'surged' somewhat randomly, try to use a wider range of precise verbs and adverbs (e.g., 'experienced a steady increase', 'declined marginally', 'fluctuated'). Focus on learning collocations related to data description. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the graph... provide', 'age group that increase'), incorrect tense usage, and improper article use. Sentence structures are often repetitive or fractured. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures such as relative clauses (e.g., 'The 25-29 age group, which had the highest rate in 1973, saw a decline...') and ensure that your verb tenses remain consistent with the time period being described (past tense for historical data).

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