Letter

Band 6+: There is an annual work party next month, which is held every year. Write a letter to your colleagues to co-arrange the party. In your letter: • Say what would you do differently than last year • Say what you think were some of the things not so good last year • Suggest where to meet to plan for the party.

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Dear Mr. Rambo,

I am writing this letter in requesting an assistance for arranging an annual work event party, which is going to be held in Toronto, the following month.

To begin with, I would like to modify all of the activities as compared to the previous year. Until last year, we had merely been celebrating among our colleagues. This year, I have intended to invite all of their family members to the party, and also by including diverse games.

During the last year event, we were not able to accommodate the guests due to a tiny party hall. Most significantly, one of our employees had health issues the next day after they had their dinner at the event. I believe it is due to the food service that we availed from a local restaurant named Turtle’s Jack.

Furthermore, I would like to request you to meet me in the upcoming week for a short duration. Eventually, we can sit together and plan for this event vividly at Starbucks. Also, we should ensure that nothing goes wrong in the upcoming party.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards

Jagadesh Kumar

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 4

party: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the task. You clearly identified what to do differently (inviting families and adding games), what went wrong last year (small venue and food quality), and where to meet (Starbucks). However, there is a slight inconsistency in the tone and audience. The task asks you to write to 'your colleagues' (plural), but you addressed the letter to a single person ('Dear Mr. Rambo') and used a very formal tone that feels more like a letter to a supervisor than a collaborative message to a group of peers. To improve, ensure the tone matches the intended audience. Additionally, try to avoid slightly awkward phrasing such as 'plan for this event vividly' or 'requesting an assistance,' which can disrupt the natural flow of the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical structure, addressing all three bullet points in separate paragraphs. However, some cohesive devices and transitions feel slightly forced or misused. For example, 'Eventually' is used incorrectly to mean 'consequently' or 'as a result,' and 'To begin with' is a bit formal for a letter to colleagues. To improve, focus on using natural transitions that link ideas more smoothly, such as 'Regarding last year's event' or 'To ensure this year is a success, I suggest...'

Lexical Resource

You have attempted to use a variety of vocabulary (e.g., 'accommodate,' 'significantly,' 'diverse'), which is good. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. For example, 'requesting an assistance' should be 'requesting assistance,' and 'plan for this event vividly' is not a natural collocation in English. Instead of 'vividly,' you might use 'in detail.' Try to focus on learning common collocations to make your word choices sound more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow of the letter. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('in requesting'), tense inconsistencies ('I have intended' instead of 'I intend'), and awkward sentence structures ('by including diverse games'). Additionally, the opening 'Dear Mr. Rambo' is quite formal for a letter to colleagues; if they are your peers, 'Dear Team' or 'Hi everyone' would be more appropriate. Work on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.

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