Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar chart illustrating the percentage of school children learning four instruments: guitar, piano, drum, violin, across three years: 2005, 2010, 2015. In 2005, guitar 10%, piano 15%, drum 10%, violin 5%. In 2010, guitar 25%, piano 20%, drum 15%, violin 5%. In 2015, guitar 30%, piano 28%, drum 12%, violin 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The illustrated bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play four various instruments in three separate years 2005, 2010, and 2015.

Overall, aside from the violin, majority of the instruments were being learned by a noticeably larger group of children in 2015 compared to other years. Additionally, throughout the three years, guitar and piano remained the most popular instruments to be studied.

In 2005, around 10% of students were learning to play the guitar and the piano, whereas just about 5% of these were learning the drums. By 2010, the guitar and piano nearly doubled in popularity with 20% and 18% learning them respectively. In the same year, the violin and drums remained stable at 5% and 7% compared to the statistics from the year 2005.

By the year, the nuber of students studying guitar rose by 8%, while the same happened to piano learners. Furthermore, although the rate of those who study drums increased slightly to 8%, violin faced a slight decrease to about 8%.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

learning: 4

guitar: 4

piano: 4

instruments: 3

years: 3

violin: 3

drums: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and provides an overview of the trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting that affect the clarity of the comparison. For instance, the report states that the number of students studying guitar and piano 'nearly doubled' in 2010, but the figures provided for 2005 (10% for both) and 2010 (20% and 18%) do not consistently support this for both instruments. Additionally, the final paragraph contains several errors: it mentions 'the year' without specifying which one, contains a typo ('nuber'), and provides contradictory information regarding the violin (stating it 'faced a slight decrease' while simultaneously stating it rose to 8%). To improve, ensure that all data points accurately reflect the visual information and that trends (increase vs. decrease) are logically consistent with the numbers provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, there are issues with cohesive devices and sentence flow. The transition 'By the year' in the final paragraph is incomplete and lacks a specific year, which disrupts the coherence. Additionally, some logical connections between sentences could be smoother to ensure the message is followed effortlessly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'popularity', 'remained stable', and 'rose'. However, there is some repetitive phrasing and imprecise word choices (e.g., 'four various instruments' is redundant, and 'the nuber' is a spelling error). To improve, try to use a wider range of synonyms for 'learning' or 'studying' and ensure that modifiers (like 'nearly doubled') are used with high precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'majority of the instruments' should be 'the majority'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction (e.g., 'the guitar and piano nearly doubled in popularity with 20% and 18% learning them respectively' is awkward). Pay close attention to how you integrate data into sentences to ensure grammatical correctness.

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