Positive And Negative

Band 4+: These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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Nowadays, if people have health issues, many do not see doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. I believe this is negative development because it impacts individuals health badly and they can get many diseases. The primary reason why some with health problems choose self-treatment is that it can affect their health horribly. Firstly, they do not have the finances for hospital treatment and they should endure this disease as soon as they can get

consequences for their health. For example, in many countries such as USA have expensive hospital treatment and majority of patient think that better save money and endure than get treatment. As a result, their issues can worsen and they can get to the hospital with no chance to

refuse. The second main reason why individuals with health problems can get disease. Secondly, they can avoid doctors because doctors do not believe them, however if they do not follow doctors they can regret about it. For instance, someone who do not believe medicine and think national methods can improve it after this later because they can get disease and do not know about this it can be incurable disease. In conclusion, this essay believes that individuals who choose self-treatment should avoid it because they can get dangerous consequences of disease and impact health horribly.

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

health: 7

disease: 5

doctors: 4

because: 4

believe: 3

individuals: 3

their: 3

hospital: 3

treatment: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (that this is a negative development). However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes lacks logical clarity. Some arguments are repetitive, and the connection between certain points - such as doctors not believing patients - is not fully explained or supported with sufficient depth. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Idea Development**: Instead of repeating that self-treatment is 'bad' or 'horrible,' explain *why* and *how*. For example, explain the physiological risks of misdiagnosis. 2. **Cohesion and Logic**: Ensure each paragraph has one clear central theme. The second body paragraph attempts to discuss both a lack of trust in doctors and the use of traditional medicine, but these ideas are somewhat muddled. 3. **Grammar and Sentence Structure**: Work on sentence construction to avoid fragments and run-on sentences. Ensure that your examples directly support the specific point you are making in the preceding sentence. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by logical gaps and confusing phrasing. For example, the transition between the idea of financial constraints and the consequences of health issues is not smooth. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that every sentence logically follows the previous one. Use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In contrast') to link your ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and repetitive. Words like 'get', 'disease', and 'health' are used excessively. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'impact individuals health badly' or 'get to the hospital with no chance to refuse', which does not sound natural in English. To improve, try to use synonyms (e.g., instead of 'get disease', use 'contract an illness' or 'develop a medical condition') and focus on learning collocations to ensure words fit together naturally. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'someone who do not believe'), missing articles (e.g., 'is negative development'), and incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'in many countries such as USA have expensive hospital treatment'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, the use of articles, and subject-verb agreement. Practicing complex sentence structures like relative clauses and conditional sentences will also help increase your range.

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Band 4+: These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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