Process Diagram

Band 5+: The picture below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The picture below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the salmon life cycle starting with salmon eggs in an upper slow-moving river environment with reeds and small stones, lasting approximately 5-6 months; fry measuring 3-8 cm continue in the river before migrating to a fast-flowing lower river or estuary for approximately 4 years, during which they develop into smolts measuring 12-15 cm; finally, they grow into adult salmon between 70-76 cm, residing in the open sea for about 5 years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram depicts how salmon grow during its lifespan.

Overall, the process involves four steps, beggin with salmon eggs in the upper river and ending with mature slamon in saltwater.

In the first stage, salmon beggin life as eggs in slow moving upper-river which protected surround by reeds and pebbles. After nearly half in year, these eggs hatch into baby salmon and commonly know as Fry which is 3 centimeters to 8 centimeters. At this stagement Fry still live in lower river during around 4 years before being Smolt.

This is followed by a developing stage when it migrate to the new environment-saltwater and live here around 5 years until it reach maturity size from 70 to 76 centimeters length. Finally, the group of aquatic animals swim back to the shallow stream to lay eggs and for severals times, the cycle repeats itself.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

salmon: 4

centimeters: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main stages of the salmon life cycle and includes key data. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the fry stage is described as living in the lower river, but the visual description indicates they remain in the upper river before migrating to the lower river/estuary as smolts. Also, the spelling errors ('beggin', 'slamon', 'stagement') and grammatical issues detract from clarity. To improve, ensure accurate representation of stages and proofread for spelling and grammar. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure but lacks clear paragraphing and cohesive devices. The description of stages is somewhat disjointed, and the use of linking words is limited. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'in the next stage') to improve flow. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct stage of the cycle.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but contains several errors and informal choices (e.g., 'beggin', 'slamon', 'stagement', 'severals times'). There is some attempt at paraphrasing, but the range is limited. To improve, use more precise and varied terms (e.g., 'commence', 'hatch', 'transition', 'mature') and ensure correct spelling of key terms like 'salmon', 'begin', 'smolt'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('salmon grow'), tense consistency, article usage ('in slow moving upper-river'), and word form ('beggin', 'know'). Sentence structures are mostly simple. To improve, practice using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and review basic grammar rules, especially for articles, prepositions, and verb tenses.

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