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Band 7+: 1. The Charts below show what US graduates and postgraduates who did not seek full time employment did after leaving school in 2010

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Image for topic: 1. The Charts below show what US graduates and postgraduates who did not seek full time employment did after leaving school in 2010

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The image shows the number of US graduates and postgraduates in 2010 across four categories. For graduates: part-time employment numbered 18,485, volunteer work 4,250, further study 30,145, and unemployment 16,985. For postgraduates: part-time employment counted 2,610, volunteer work 420, further study 2,800, and unemployment 1,700.

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The graphs illustrate the career options pursued by 2010 US bachelor’s and master’s students other than full-time employment. There were four types of career paths shown in the charts: part-time job, voluntary work, further study, and unemployment. Overall, majority of both undergrads and postgrads took further study option, while volunteer jobs was the least favorable option.

Among the US bachelors, more than thirty thousand of undergrads chose to have a higher academic degree and study further. There was a significant difference in the number of students between part-time employment and further study with a gap of around twelve thousand students, while about sixteen thousand of undergrads were jobless. Then, the remaining students, accounted for about four thousand took volunteer service as their career choice.

In term of master graduates pursuits, enrollment in higher education degrees and part-time work chosen by 2,800 and 2,610 students, respectively, with together formed over than half of the percentages. While 1,700 postgrads were out of job, only 420 of them got voluntary work. For comparison between the two graduates, there was a similarity with the most and least popular options. Notable gap was seen between further study and part-time work for the bachelors, while postgraduates had remakable difference between part-time job and unemployment.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 5

part-time: 5

further: 5

study: 5

while: 4

thousand: 4

between: 4

career: 3

there: 3

undergrads: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points from the charts, providing a reasonable overview of the information. However, there's room for improvement in terms of organization and detail. To improve, consider structuring the report with clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and providing more specific comparisons between the graduate and postgraduate data. Also, ensure that all numbers are accurate and that the language used is precise and varied.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, but there are some areas where coherence could be improved. The transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, making it slightly difficult to follow the information at times. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between the number of students in part-time employment and further study could be clearer. In the third paragraph, the phrase "with together formed over than half of the percentages" is awkward and disrupts the flow. Consider using more precise language and transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, "least favorable option" is acceptable, but "least popular option" might be more common. Additionally, the phrase "accounted for about four thousand took volunteer service as their career choice" is a bit awkward; rephrasing it to something like "approximately four thousand chose volunteer work" would improve clarity. Overall, focus on refining word choices to enhance the sophistication and naturalness of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect the overall accuracy. For example, "Overall, majority of both undergrads and postgrads took further study option" should be "Overall, the majority of both undergrads and postgrads took the further study option." Also, "In term of master graduates pursuits" should be "In terms of master's graduates' pursuits." Correcting these errors and paying close attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage will improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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1. The Charts below show what US graduates and postgraduates who did not seek full time employment did after leaving school in 2010

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