Letter

Band 5+: After being involved in an accident, you were looked after by a person you did not know before. Write a special thank you letter to express your gratitude. In your letter: • introduce yourself and let him/her know why you are writing • express your appreciation • and offer him/ her to visit your home with his/her family Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to appreciate one of your store staff members who help me when I had accident.

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Yogi Wahyudi I am CEO Mercedes Benz one of the biggest transportation companies in German. I want to say thank you to one of your store staff members who help me when I had accident in a front of your store when my arm got dislocation and my nose was bleeding because someone hit me when he drove his car fastly.

The staff came and called another staff to help me in that accident. What impressed me most was that staff took me to your store to get the first aids and called the ambulance. I really appreciate and respect with your staff effort, as this truly helped me to face this accident.

As a result, I want to meet your staff member in his house, could you give me contact to call. I wanna visit his house and give some gift to appreciate his effort.

Once again, I appreciate your staff services. Thanks for help.

Yours sincerely,

YOGI WAHYUDI

Word Count: 198

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

staff: 8

appreciate: 4

store: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by introducing yourself, expressing gratitude, and offering to visit the helper's home. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: you wrote to the store manager instead of the person who helped you, and you did not clearly state that you are inviting the helper and his family to visit your home. The tone is somewhat formal and the details about your job are irrelevant. To improve, address the letter directly to the helper, clearly express your thanks, and explicitly invite him and his family to your home. Also, avoid unnecessary personal details and ensure the letter is well-structured and coherent.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. For example, the introduction could be smoother, and the transition to the request for contact information is abrupt. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'appreciate' instead of 'thank', 'fastly' instead of 'fast'). There is an overuse of simple phrases and some repetition. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise expressions, such as 'express my heartfelt gratitude' and 'provide first aid'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'I am writing this letter to appreciate one of your store staff members who help me when I had accident' should be 'I am writing to thank one of your staff members who helped me when I had an accident.' Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles and prepositions.

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