Table

Band 5+: describing trends and comparing data using a table showing the percentage of household ownership of consumer electronics (smartphones 📱, washing machines 🧺, and desktop computers 🖥️) between the years 2000 and 2020.

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The image displays a table showing the percentage of households in a specific country that owned various consumer durables in 2000, 2010, and 2020. For Smartphone ownership, the percentages were 5% in 2000, 45% in 2010, and 95% in 2020. For Washing Machine ownership, the figures were 70% in 2000, 72% in 2010, and 75% in 2020. For Desktop Computer ownership, the data was 30% in 2000, 55% in 2010, and 40% in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates the peroportion of households in a certain country that owned different consumer durables from 2000 to 2020.

In general, the figures for smartphone and washing machine showed an upward trend, while the reverse was true for desktop computer. Notably, at the beginning of the period smartphone had the smallest share, but then increased significantly.

To begin with, smartphone accounted up 5 percent in 2000, which was significantly lower than desktop at 30 percent. Then, smarphone rose marginally by 5 percent to 45 percent. Similarly, desktop computer peaked at 55 percent in 2010. In 2020, smartphone reached 95 percent, overtaking desktop computer, which made up 40 percent.

When it comes to washing machine, it started the period by standing at 70 percent. After that, the figure steadily increased and accounted for 72 percent in 2020. Subsequently, it kept rising and reached approximately 80 percent at the end of the period.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 9

smartphone: 4

desktop: 4

computer: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a comparison between the different categories. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reporting that affect the clarity of the trends. For instance, the report states that smartphone ownership rose 'marginally' by 5 percent to reach 45 percent, whereas the data shows a much larger jump. Additionally, the description of the washing machine trend is contradictory, stating it reached 72 percent in 2020 and then immediately stating it reached 80 percent at the end of the period. To improve, ensure that the mathematical descriptions (such as 'marginally' vs 'significantly') align with the actual numbers and that the chronological sequence of data points is logical and consistent.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas within the paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For instance, the transition between the smartphone data and the desktop computer data in the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. To improve, ensure that cohesive devices (like 'In contrast' or 'Meanwhile') are used more effectively to link comparative data points rather than just listing them sequentially.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing trends (e.g., 'upward trend', 'peaked', 'steadily increased'), but there are several spelling errors ('peroportion', 'smarphone') and some awkward phrasing ('accounted up 5 percent'). To reach a higher band, aim for greater precision in word choice and ensure that all technical terms and data descriptions are spelled correctly. Using a wider variety of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also enhance the lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical inaccuracies that impact the clarity of the report. For example, the phrase 'accounted up 5 percent' is ungrammatical, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Additionally, some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that prepositions used with verbs of change (e.g., 'increased to' vs 'increased by') are used accurately.

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