Line Graph

Band 6+: ELTS Academic Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Number of shop closures and openings 2011- 2018

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Image for topic: ELTS Academic Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Number of shop closures and openings 2011- 2018

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The image shows a line graph detailing the number of shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. For shop closures (solid line), the figures were: 2011: approximately 6,400; 2012: approximately 5,900; 2013: approximately 7,200; 2014: approximately 6,600; 2015: approximately 800; 2016: approximately 5,200; 2017: approximately 5,100; and 2018: approximately 5,200. For shop openings (dashed line), the figures were: 2011: 8,500; 2012: 4,000; 2013: 5,000; 2014: approximately 6,200; 2015: 4,000; 2016: 4,000; 2017: approximately 4,200; and 2018: 3,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given graph illustrates the number of shop closures and new beginning of shops in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Looking at the numbers, shops opening at the year 2011 was around 8500 whereas shop closing was around 6300. Despite having an early lead, Shop opening numbers declined by almost a half in a year reaching below closing shops. Over the next two years, both the categories were almost equal at around 6200. However, the number of shops that closed declined very sharply reaching below 1000 in the year 2015 and again escalated in the same way by more than 4000.

Newly launched stores had stabilized after a slight decrease to 4000 and maintained the same level where it ended the timeline at 3000. Similarly, the same trend is followed by closing stores for the next three years and ended at around 5100.

Overall, shop closures witnessed the most fluctuations in the later half of the recorded phase whereas there was a very sharp inclination and declination in the opening category of stores.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shops: 4

around: 4

opening: 3

closing: 3

stores: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the graph, providing a reasonable overview of the data. However, there are some areas for improvement. The description of specific data points could be more precise, and the report could benefit from a clearer structure, perhaps by grouping years with similar trends together. Additionally, while the overall trends are mentioned, a more in-depth comparison between shop openings and closures throughout the period would enhance the analysis. Finally, the last sentence is not very clear and could be improved.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is clear, but the body paragraphs lack a strong sense of direction and connection between ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive or could be expressed more concisely. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and changes to describe the data more effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'decline' or 'increase,' explore synonyms like 'decrease,' 'fall,' 'rise,' or 'grow.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. While the basic sentence structures are present, there are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Pay close attention to these areas to improve accuracy. Also, work on using a wider range of sentence structures to add complexity and sophistication to your writing. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can be beneficial.

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