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Band 6+: he changes in the percentage of electricity usage across various industries between 1995 and 2005.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing the percentage distribution of electricity usage across various industries in the years 1995 and 2005. For 1995, the segments show: food at 8%, fishery at 15%, manufacturing at 24%, household at 33%, and service at 20%. In 2005, the data are: food at 15%, fishery at 21%, manufacturing at 13%, household at 31%, and service at 20%.

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The data shows changes in percentage of electricity usage among different industries between the year 1995 and 2005.

Overall, both in 1995 and 2005 manufacturing has the highest usage of electricity which is. On the contrary, service has the lowest usage of electricity.

In 1995, manufacturing dominated electricity consumption at 33%, followed by the food industry at 24%. The fishery sector made up 20%, while household usage accounted for 15%. The service industry had the smallest share, consuming only 8% of the total electricity.

During 2005, the manufacturing sector still consumed the highest electricity even though there’s a slight decrease of 4%. Followed by the food sector at 21%. On the contrary, the household sector increased to 20% of the usage and fishery sector declined into 13%. Lastly, the service sector still also decrease to 13%.

In summary, while manufacturing continued to be the primary consumer of electricity, there was a shift towards greater usage in the service and household sectors, accompanied by a reduction in fishery consumption.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

usage: 6

sector: 6

electricity: 5

manufacturing: 4

service: 4

fishery: 3

household: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies in the data reported from the pie charts. The structure is generally clear, but the inaccuracies and some unclear phrasing affect the overall coherence and accuracy. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and double-check figures before including them in the report. Also, focus on comparing and contrasting the changes more explicitly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key changes, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' paragraph is somewhat confusing as it mentions manufacturing having the highest usage but then states 33% which actually belongs to the household sector in 1995. The transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence. For example, directly comparing the changes in each sector between the two years within the same paragraph would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data. However, there's room to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'usage' or 'consumption,' synonyms like 'demand,' 'proportion,' or 'expenditure' could be used. Varying the language used to describe increases and decreases would also enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, the sentence 'Overall, both in 1995 and 2005 manufacturing has the highest usage of electricity which is' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Also, in the fourth paragraph, there are inaccuracies in the data, and the sentence structure is somewhat awkward. Proofreading to correct these errors and improve sentence structure would enhance grammatical accuracy.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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