Letter

Band 5+: Letter to a couple telling them you are interested in a teaching of your language job offer for their children

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Dear Mr and Mrs Smith,

I am writing this letter as regards your advertisement , where you stated that you needed someone to teach your children the Yoruba language for a year in Australia.

I am qualified for this position because I studied Yoruba Language at the Universitiy for a duration of 4 years and graduated with a distinction and the best student in my faculty that year. I also have 5 years unfiltered experience teaching children at school this same language with a lot of testimonies from my pupil’s results.

I am also a wife and a mother. I have hands on skills and experience in caring for children apart from the class room . It has shaped me to be a baby sitter if you are not around during their lessons or whenever you need to step out without worrying about their safety.

My interest for the job stemmed from my impact in contributing to having more yoruba speaking children in the nation. This will enable more people embrace the language and giving me more room to do what I enjoy doing while still making an income.

Conclusively, I am a seasoned and professional teacher with reputable experience who believe imparting the yoruba language knowledge to the younger generation will help the language be widely recognized,hence I give it my best.

I look forward to an opportunity to express my interest in person

Yours sincerely,

Aminat Kehinde.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

language: 6

children: 4

yoruba: 4

experience: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses the task, clearly stating interest in the teaching position and highlighting relevant qualifications and experience. The tone is professional and enthusiastic. To further enhance the letter, consider providing specific examples of your teaching successes or methodologies to make your application even more compelling.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider structuring the letter with a clear introduction stating your purpose, followed by paragraphs detailing your qualifications, experience with children, and reasons for interest. The conclusion should reiterate your interest and availability for an interview. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. However, there are instances where more precise or sophisticated word choices could enhance the impact. For example, instead of 'unfiltered experience,' consider using 'direct' or 'extensive experience.' Varying your vocabulary and using more specific terms related to teaching and childcare would further strengthen this aspect.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'Universitiy' should be 'University,' and 'pupil's results' could be rephrased for better clarity. Proofreading carefully and focusing on accurate grammar will improve the overall quality of your writing.

Band 5+: Letter to a couple telling them you are interested in a teaching of your language job offer for their children

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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