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Band 5+: line graph - amounts of shops opened and closed between 2011 and 2018

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The image displays a line graph titled "Number of shop closures and openings 2011–2018," plotting the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened annually from 2011 to 2018. For closures: 2011 (8000), 2012 (7000), 2013 (6000), 2014 (around 7400), 2015 (5000), 2016 (3000), 2017 (2000), 2018 (2000). For openings: 2011 (2000), 2012 (2000), 2013 (2000), 2014 (4000), 2015 (5000), 2016 (5000), 2017 (6000), 2018 (8000). The graph shows a decreasing trend in closures and an increasing trend in openings as years progress.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph illustrates the number of shops that opened and closed in a certain country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the number of shop openings was generally higher than the number of shop closures. Both figures experienced a significant declining in the middle of the period, and they by the end of the period were at lower levels than at the beginning.

In 2011, the number of shop openings was higher than of shop closures, standing at 8,500 and 6,500 respectively. After that, shop openings declined considerably to around 6,000. Meanwhile, the number of closures fell gradually, reaching a low of approximately 4000 shops in 2012. In the middle of the period, they climbed noticeably, where they made up almost the same figure, which stood at 6000 shops.

Subsequently, the number of shop closures declined sharply to approximately 5000. In contrast, the number of shop openings dipped and then remained stable at around 4,000 before falling further to 3,000 by the end of the period. Afterwards, shop closures rose sharply and then remained relatively stable at approximately 5,000.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 7

closures: 5

openings: 4

period: 4

approximately: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report struggles significantly with data accuracy and logical consistency. While the structure follows a standard format, the information provided contradicts the visual description in almost every instance. For example, the report claims openings were higher than closures in 2011, whereas the data shows closures were much higher. Furthermore, the trends described (such as openings declining and closures rising at the end) are the exact opposite of the trends shown in the visual description. To improve, ensure that you carefully map the data points to the correct categories and verify that your description of trends (increasing vs. decreasing) matches the direction of the lines on the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat confusing, which hinders the flow of information. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the logical progression of the data is difficult to follow. The overview contains a contradiction: it states that openings were generally higher than closures, but then suggests both figures ended at lower levels than they began, which is mathematically inconsistent with the trends described. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific trend or a specific period of time, and use cohesive devices (like 'In contrast', 'Following this', or 'Conversely') more effectively to guide the reader through the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and, in some instances, used incorrectly. For example, 'experienced a significant declining' is ungrammatical (it should be 'a significant decline'). There is also a lack of precision in how words are used to describe trends; some descriptions feel misplaced relative to the data being discussed. To improve, work on using a wider variety of nouns and verbs for trends (e.g., 'plummeted', 'surged', 'fluctuated') and ensure that the word forms (noun vs. verb) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'the number of shop openings was higher than of shop closures', which is missing a pronoun or noun to complete the comparison. Additionally, there are errors in tense and word form. To improve, focus on mastering comparative structures (e.g., 'higher than that of...') and ensure that complex sentences are constructed with correct punctuation and subject-verb agreement.

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