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Band 6+: Percentage of Adults in Urban and Rural Areas (1990 & 2010)

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The image displays a table showing the percentage of adults participating in four free time activities in urban and rural areas for the years 1990 and 2010. For 1990, urban participation was: Reading 61, Animated play 10, Playing 21, and Photography 7; rural participation was: Reading 71, Animated play 18, Playing 26, and Photography 14. For 2010, urban participation was: Reading 78, Animated play 10, Playing 14, and Photography 17; rural participation was: Reading 78, Animated play 14, Playing 26, and Photography 24.

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The table illustrates the proportion of adults in urban and rural areas who took part in four free time activities, namely reading, animated play, playing, and photography, from 1990 to 2010.

Overall, while the percentage of adults taking part in reading and photography increased significantly over the period, all other activities experienced a consistent fluctuations.

In 1990, reading accounted for the largest share at 61% in urban area and 71% in rural area. The figure rose sharply to 78% in both areas respectively. Playing showed a similar fluctuations trend, increase from 21% in urban area to 26% in rural area in 1990. and then fell to 14% and rose to 26% in 2010.

Likewise, the percentage of animated play increase slightly from 10% to 18% in 1990, and declined gradually to 10% and 14% in 2010. In contrast, photography experienced a dramatic increase. Starting at just 7% and 14% in 1990, the figure nearly doubled to 17% and surged to 24%, making them most attending activities by the end of the period.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

urban: 3

rural: 3

activities: 3

reading: 3

photography: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the data and highlighting key trends. However, there are some omissions and lapses in detail. To improve, ensure all significant data points are addressed and that comparisons are precise and comprehensive.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' paragraph provides a reasonable summary, but the subsequent paragraphs sometimes lack clear transitions between activities and years. Consider grouping information by activity to show the changes over time more clearly, or by year to compare urban and rural participation within each time frame. Using more varied cohesive devices would also enhance the readability.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data, but there's room for more precise and varied language. For example, instead of 'fluctuations,' you could use terms like 'varied,' 'differed,' or 'showed contrasting trends.' Similarly, 'rose sharply' and 'declined gradually' are acceptable but could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives like 'increased significantly' or 'decreased steadily.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'experienced a consistent fluctuations' should be 'experienced consistent fluctuations' or 'showed consistent fluctuation'. Also, 'increase from 21% in urban area to 26% in rural area in 1990. and then fell to 14% and rose to 26% in 2010' is a run-on sentence and needs restructuring. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully before submitting your report can help identify and correct these errors.

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